Pointless Prizeless Challenge #12: Render A (Stupid) Story Title
3dcheapskate
Posts: 2,719
(Edit: I've only just realized that there's a genuine, serious Book Covers thread here. But it seems far too serious for the rubbish I'm coming up with ! )
Today I'm not bored, I'm inspired ! Yes, there's no escape - it's time to inflict another one of these on the unsuspecting sensible people of the forum...
(If you don't know what a Pointless, Prizeless Challenge is... well, you should be able to work it out for yourself, shouldn't you? Hint: The key is in the two adjectives - 'Pointless' and 'Prizeless'. The word 'Stupid' also comes to mind, but it doesn't begin with P and would ruin the alliteration. For more information see the Pointless Prizeless Challenge Index and the previous challenge - Pointless Prizeless Challenge #2,486: Render the building of an Interociter)
- Pointless Prizeless Challenge #87: Render A Ridiculous RPG Character
- Pointless Prizeless Challenge #53: Using 3D models in unusual ways (stop giggling at the back!)
- Pointless Prizeless Challenge #2,486: Render the building of an Interociter
- Pointless Prizeless Challenge #12: Render A (Stupid) Story Title
- Pointless Prizeless Challenge #1138: Space Opera ! ( May The Fourth Be With You )
- Pointless Prizeless Challenge #8: (as in "Pieces of") for the glory of the Federation Of Thread Pir
A while back I did a cover for the pulp magazine "Unbelievable Stories" illustrating the story "The Cement Jungle" and came up with a few additional story titles for the cover:
For people who can't read pictures the other stories listed on the cover are:
- The Pixie Men Of Pangolin
- "Alas!" Cried The Opossum
- Santa Cthlaus Is Coming To Town
- The Pig Who Knew
- The Atomic Aubergine
- Ron Quixote And The Windmills Of Jupiter
The challenge is to render a teaser image for one of the story titles above*
The teaser image can be a magazine cover, a movie poster, a plain old picture.In fact whatever you want.
*.If none of those titles get your creative juices flowing, then try one of the story titles listed in the next post**
**If the story titles in the next post don't do it for you either, then go ahead and come up with your own story title.
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{This post originally had a short list of additional titles. After a few days I added the tumbleweed comment at the bottom. A while later I decided to use this post to keep a master list of stupid titles}
Master List (part 1) Of Story/Book/Periodical Titles (Including Those Mentioned In The Post Above)
Link to part 2
The (M-C-R) code in brackets after the title is just to remind me which 64-book texture I used it in. M is the texture image (A,B,C as below), C is the column(0 left or 1 right) and R is row (0 bottom to 31 top)
( Note:I have a suspicion that at least one of these titles may actually exist.That's not my fault! )
Other books (also from later posts in this thread, or from random squalls) that probably don't contain 'stories', but sound quite interesting:
Further additional extra extra titles on temporary loan to this thread:
{first edit to the post began here}
I think I can hear the "...whooooosh!" of tumble weed rolling past ? No matter. I'll just add some stupid pictures (and even more stupid words) to this post. Doing that doesn't even bump the thread.
(No prizes for guessing what story titles I was really doodling with when I did the renders)
Hammurabi's Vimmana
(This pig's name is Ham-murabi. 'Vimmana' is a Piggy word meaning 'a request'. Ham Murabi also happens to be a ninja-pig)
The Atomic Aubergine
This one's too complicated to explain. It's probably got something to do with radioactivity-induced vegetable mutation into lumps of rock...
"Alas!" Cried The Opossum
It was snowing a lot, almost a total whiteout, and opossums don't like snow. Especially when it causes their nuclear powered underpants to break down.
Awesome! I'm a bit overly involved with the so-called real world right now. But I will find time to get a silly render in hopefully. I love these!
Me too (i.e. as in "I love these too". Not as in "I'm overly involved with the 'real' world too") - I'm still not sure which title is my favourite. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
(Interesting* aside: Believe it or not this was inspired by a book I read many, many years ago - Stanislaw Lem's "A Perfect Vacuum". I think the review of Gigamesh was my favourite...)
*For those who find it interesting. If you don't, then it won't be.
Well, no renders of any story titles yet (apart from me messing about in the second post).
Not to worry.
I've been sidetracked from the sidetrack I'd previously been sidetracked to anyway, and I've been playing around modeling bookshelf contents*. I found that I needed some book spines, so I decided to play with the titles I gave in the OP here...
Doesn't that make you want to pick them up and read them,eh?
... or even render a cover ?
I think this is a much more entertaining idea than just photographing real books !
(P.S. Yes, I know that the width:height ratio of these spines probably means that these books are rather thin paperbacks, but like I said - I'm just playing at the moment. I actually had a lot of fun doing these. The reason some of text is still just black is that stupid fun does have its limit,and I got bored. Anyway, how about a Pointless Prizeless Sub-Challenge ? Can you spot which of my gallery/thread pictures I've used on the spines ?)
Edit: Posted a very simple 2048x2048 texture based on this to the freebie forum - (N.B. Texture ONLY At Present) Books To Populate All Those Empty Virtual Bookshelves The whole morphing row of books is now linked from that (now slightly retitled) thread "Books To Populate All Those Empty Virtual Bookshelves (Poser Prop PP2 - DAZ Studio Compatible!)" . Here's the texture map I created, which was basically duplicating the 17 book spines in this post a couple of times:
*No, not as in prancing up and down a catwalk in some bizarre designer biblio-attire !
I'm new here, so bear with me. Can anyone post renders, or you're just having a bit of fun?
The possum idea sounds like it could be funny. And a talking pig + the word 'possum' = pig latin?
"Non possum credere me opossum edisse. Fallaces sunt rerum species. Te cogitere cunniculus chocolate!"
(I cannot believe I ate a possum. The appearances of things are deceptive. I thought it was a chocolate bunny!)
On that feeble attempt at humor and terrible latin, I'd better return to lurking!
Best wishes tho. Will be keeping an eye on this topic. :-)
--Bruce
The more the merrier ! Anyone can post renders on this (and any other) Pointless Prizeless Challenge thread. Ideally the pictures should be at least vaguely related to the theme of the thread. And you've probably realized that the main focus is the sort of 'humour' that makes ordinary sensible grown up people go... "Whaaaat?"
And yes, I'm having a lot of fun - regardless of whether or not anybody else joins in !
Ah, so it's a pig latin* duel then ! My best shot would be "Caesar adsum iam forte. Pompey aderat." (Molesworth, Down wiv skool! - iirc?)
Ah! But once you've unlurked your Klingon lurking device will never work properly again ! Didn't you read the manual ?
Thanks ! I hope you like watching tumbleweed rolling past !
Edit: Just been browsing through one of my other threads and found a couple of fairytale-ish titles. Also the Brothers Grimm gave me an idea:
The second and third of those already have published storylines.
Edit2: I'm reserving this space for some more stupid titles that I may think up. I'll add them here whenever I feel so inclined:
There now follow some vaguely half-formed ideas,wordplays,puns,wotsits,etc that are not yet ready for fully-fledged titledom:
*I actually had no idea what pig latin was - I had a vague picture in my head of senators snuffling for truffles on Circe's island. However, Google just told me that I was actually thinking of cod latin. But what does Google know? It was actually halibut Latin, with a soupçon of mackerel...
Heh. Well not really pig Latin, and not sure about ‘scholarly’ Latin either. Been decades since they inflicted it on hapless undergrads.
Surprising (or maybe not) that no one makes a 3D possum model. A shame. Would’ve been fun going nostalgic with ‘Possible Possum’ and 'Porky Pig.’ Did find a couple of related props tho....
Hopefully can post something in next day or so. Whether it’s *funny* or not... Have to see I guess. ;-)
Best
--Bruce
No idea how I missed these. I don't know if I will be able to get anything done but I'm definitely intrigued!
Hopefully this is playing the game as intended. If not will just edit
"Alas!" Cried the possum. "I should not have tried answering the old question-- why did the chicken cross the road. Now I fear I have met my end as roadkill. Dolor oh so dolorous!"
Meanwhile on the Cooking Channel...
Hello! Chef Pork-Out here and welcome to my show! Check out my books-- Dumpster Diving Delicacies, Curdled Cuisine, and Moldy Morsels.
But lets get to my latest book-- Roadkill Rewards! Folks, how much free food is left out there on our highways? Tons!
But is it safe? Here at Piggin-Out-- we've solved that worry. Fresh roadkill is in a delicious chemical sludge along with a fantastic collection of orange and green bits that could be anything! Eating is not only fun, it’s an adventure!
So until next time, this is Chef-Pork-Out saying, “Food shouldn’t go to waste. It should go to waist!”
(sponsored by Dow Chemical)
---
Edit: replacing imgur links w/attachments when I can find where I put them... O_o
Don't forget that being 'Prizeless' has the advantage of also being 'Closing-Date-less'...
(although it's not actually a bookcover it's a perfect render for "Alas!" Cried The Opossum.. so it's a great and valid entry. And at the moment it's winning this Prizeless challenge)
Ah. Think I understand now. It's not *completely* pointless. Book covers so anyone interested can use them as texture files? Be interesting to see what anyone might do with Lovecraft. Cthulhu could be lots of fun. Or not very fun at all...
Anyway, thanks for having me & good idea to credit freebies like the TV dinner 'possum' prop.
Fridge, Cabinet and stove courtesy of Ockham's 50s Kitchen
Best wishes
--Bruce
When I originally started this thread it was totally, 100%, pointless - I just have a really stupid sense of humour and wanted a thread to post stupid book titles... (speaking of which, here's a few more before I forget):
...and (to post) some of the silly half-baked render ideas that the titles kicked off.
But then I thought, why not do something more with these stupid book titles? And thus the original 17 titles are now immortalized in a freebie row of books prop, currently only as book spines but,yes, if anybody does a good render of a book cover...
Edit: over on that other thread I'm playing with various book props, including some single book ones. So using a tentative UV mapping for a 17.5cm x 10.5cm x 1cm paperback (which maps each of the 6 faces separately, with no distortion, and makes (almost) the best use of the available space on a square UV image) I've started creating texture maps using some of my old renders and/or fonts and text effects in GIMP...
(And before anyone corrects me: Yes, I know that 'heavilyer' isn't a real word - but it just seemed such a perfect non-word to use here ! )
Master List (part 2) Of Story/Book/Periodical Titles
Link to part 1 ... Link to part 3
I've been away from computers for a couple of weeks, but I had a notepad. The type that's made of paper, that you write on with pens or pencils.
And these stupid book titles insisted on being jotted down.
The quality of the titles is variable.
There's a certain stream-of-conciousness-ness to some sequences of titles (they're more or less in thought-up-date chronology).
And there are a few nods to books, movies, old renders, etc.
From the bookshop sketch ("At Last The 1948 Show" and Monty Python variants) and other sketches (Bunniman Gibbonposture is a possible author):
From other "At Last The 1948 Show" and Monty Python sketches:
And then of course there are all those jokey book titles, such as:
And I've also been considering adding a few boxed sets, such as:
More...
And a separate post for two that might not pass muster with the mods/admins, because they might sound a bit rude.
They're not, but they could be. It all depends on how your mind works...
A few more titles that might sound rude, but to my mind are just amusingly bizarre:
And another...
Edit to the edit: just in case this post does get deleted I've moved the non-controversial titles that I added. They're now in the post above.
Hopefully this counts as at least vaguely related to the theme. It is an old render (last July) if that is OK. Love fake covers.
(Tomato Boy reminds me of those classic Killer Tomatoes movies!*)
*I'd forgotten that a young George Clooney wasin them !
Master List (part 3) Of Story/Book/Periodical Titles
Link to part 1 | Link to part 2
Something in a more classic literary vein perhaps ?
Here's afew from karina over on the SM forum:
And a few from anomalaus over on the SM Poser forum::
A few more from karina:
... by Etcher Allen Poo:
Some more from karina:
And a few I came up with myself:
And, reverting the the non-classics, a few more that I've recently (15th Aug 2019 onwards) thunk up:
A new post for 2020 titles because the previous post is getting too scrolly-scrolly of longness. Only 4½ months late
I'm beginning to get a bit muddled up - which books from the "Brass Emotions" series have I already listed ? So I've had a dig through my book collection (as listed above) to pick them out. Here they are:
But I'm fairly sure that the original edition of the full set from the Brass Monkeys publishing house, ten books in total I think, didn't include the Cornet Of Petulance and The Bugle Of Catharsis. I believe that those were later additions to the Brass mythos by other writers in the genre.
Edit: as you'll see from a later addition to the previous post, I found a copy of one of the missing books in an old, dusty, cobwebby, antiquarian bookshop. Not that it's an antiquarian book - it's just that the owner was reading it.
So that's seven out of the original ten, plus two of the later additions*. I'm now trying to recollect what order the books were in. Also, I vaguely remember that it was never officially known as the "Brass Emotions" series - I think that was just a term that readers started using, based on the publisher and what the book titles had in common.
Edit: Wasn't there one called "The something-or-other Of Indignation" ?
Another Edit: While meandering through the interweb I discovered four more instruments - Sackbut, Cimbasso, Buccin and Superbone (fnarrr! Fnarr!). However, I don't recall any of those being the instrument of Indignation, although I may be wrong. Sackbut rings a bell, but none of the other three do. And I can't recall what "The Sackbut" was "Of ...". But I do very vaguely recall "The Post Horn Of Secrecy" , although maybe I'm getting mixed up with Thomas Pynchon...
Does anybody else remember the recurring guitar**-playing, coffin dragging, soprano character by the name of Django Rheinmaiden ?
*I keep thinking that there's an "...Ocarina Of..." book in the series, but I think I'm getting mixed up with Robert Rankin...
**and occasionally ukelele
Belly Button Lint is a Character Flaw
There's No Running From Regina King
Nobody Wants Your Butt
Mushrooms Are Rude
Excellent !
And I see that you've remembered something that I seem to have forgotten (at least since this time last year) - the thread title starts "Render A...", indicating that this thread is intended to include pictures,
Also, since this is a Pointless Prizeless challenge, you have been awarded 4 Pointless Non-Points (one for each picture/title combination) for your sterling work.
And, retrospectively, one Pointless Non-Point has been awarded to Diomede_Carrara and one Pointless Non-Point to Tynkere. Including interest accrued due to late awardment (awardation?) that puts Tynkere on 1.036 Pointless Non-Points and Diomede_Carrara on 1.018 Pointless Non-Points.
So Gordig is now way out in front !
This is so exciting ! !
* Watches tumbleweed roll past *
* Watches paint drying *
* Watches grass growing *
* Watches daytime TV * ... on second thoughts I'll give that one a miss - that would be a step too far...
It is!!
(Non-)Question: Do you earn Pointless Non-points for Non-viewing this thread?
Thanks for not asking.
Unfortunately not.
Pointless Non-Points™©☠ are reserved exclusively for those people who post pictures.
(And since the accrued interest rules for the retrospective Awardation™©☠ of Pointless Non-Points™©☠ are rather complex, they have not been applied to any of the other Pointless Prizeless Challenges. Just this one.)
However, the panel (don't worry, there's not a single serious gamer or criticizer general among them) have suggested that they could institute the Awardment™©☠ of new-fangled Pointy Points™©☠ to people for Non-viewing this thread...
But from the evil grins on their faces, and their devious glances at the weapons rack in the corner*... I really don't think anyone wants to receive Pointy Points from the panel** !
*Pretend that I posted a picture of that here. My content library and artistic skills can't keep up with what's in my mind's eye. Hmmm... perhaps a "Render an image of the panel looking deviously at the weapons rack in the corner with evil grins on their faces" challenge ?
**Look at the picture - you see what I mean ?
How to Punch a Goat
Great story Gordig - and who can forget the sequel, "The Goat That Punched Back"
... or the sequel to the sequel, "The Oriental Goat-Boxer"
...and here's a fresh post for any new titles that I discover in 2021. We'll start with...
Whoops ! Almost forgot to add Gordig's titles to the official library catalogue*:
The latter bringing back recollections of...
Back to more titles for 2021...
I've realized that a lot of my titles include peoples' names, so here are a few more (names I mean, not titles):
Famous movies:
*That's the Irish version of catalog, and is pronounced Catal O'Gue - in honour of the Craggy Island librarian Caitlin O'Gue
...and here's a new post for 2022's titles.
And a few character names, possibly from some of the above:
I have a feeling that the following were further Space Bimbos Of The Galaxy novels, but I may be wrong.
Further titles of 2022 will be added here:
And more names here:
A render I did for a Platinum Club event last year has some titles and authors.
https://www.daz3d.com/gallery/user/5913224163622912#gallery=newest&page=1&image=1183487
Zombie Space Pirates rings a bell... or maybe I'm getting it mixed up with an incident I had last week on the Kessel run ?
P.S. You're welcome to post the actual cover picture* here too, not just the link
(I'm fairly sure that the CG won't see it as he/she/it's not been seen since being schlurped by his/her/its own black hole and another him/her/it being shot in the nethernadgers by Mzzkiti )
*It would be nice to have pictures in this thread again. But I'm too busy** nowadays...
**lazy