The completely gratuitous complaint thread
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unless you are in the orchestra
And if we are playing:
this has three movemnts, the You tube version should I think follow in sequence but not sure if it will do it embedded
and somethign more restful after the bopping
and a fun take on Alice as a ballet (again, start of a playlist)
Probably from TV shows, movies and books... and mostly that was from isolated events in the 60s-80s... it does have its occasional weirdness and quite a few weird stories, but mostly it's just a 90% boring strip of sand between the raging Atlantic and the lazy Great South Bay...
Mostly this is what its like...
I tend to roam the island when the humans aren't around since it's fairly close to where I live (I can see the lighthouse across the bay from the beach at the end of my street)... me and my family mostly go in the evening or interesting weather days off season when nobody is around... I'm not interested in the baking in the sand and human stuff people visit the towns or beaches for.
The towns, by the way are very tiny, each just a few small blocks of tiny cottages and boardwalk streets and most of the island is fairly sedate.
i remember hearing the ads for OBI. Donna donna. Fingers.
needed very strong tic spray to walk near the lighthouse.
The scat bus i think, can take me to robert moses. rollator wont work on the beach. at least will be a soft landing if i tip over. have an idea how the poor cows feel. how did cow tipping become a past time. moooo
Cow tipping was actually started in 1732 by Benjamin Franklin while he was between publishing The Pantsylvania Gazette (later renamed to the Pennsylvania Gazette when Pantsylvania changed its name), The Pantsylvania Pennysaver Coupon Clipper and Poor Richard's Almanac.
Since it was very time consuming to set up presses to print stuff, often people who did that sort of work would need to do something exciting to make up for the hours of drudgery setting up tiny little letters to squoosh into words on paper... Cow tipping turned out to be the perfect sport (penguin wrestling was still in its infancy in England and wouldn't make it to the colonies for another fifty years or so).
Franklin had noticed how tavern patrons would laugh as a drunk tipped over and decided that this would be a good form of entertainment, but after tipping over a bunch of drunks he realized that tipping people was kinda boring and sometimes they'd hit their heads and die.
Not a quiter, Franklin decided to go out and start tipping various animals... cats, dogs, raccoons, an odd skunk here and there until he realized farm animals made better sounds... pigs were his first choice because of their delightful oinking, but they would often bite and run away, and you really had to be fast to flip them over... goats and chickens turned out to be challenging as well... eventually cows were chosen because of their short legs and top-heavy nature.
At first Cow tipping was more of a lark, where one would run up to a sleeping cow and shout "Give me milk or give me death" (which is where Patrick Henry actually stole his famous line from)... but eventually people started to notice that cows tipped on hills would usually roll over a few times and that led to individuals competing for maximum numbers of rolls.
Soon enough people were waging on cow tipping and teams and leagues would form as it took off as a full fledged sport.
By that time Franklin had long since turned his attention to becoming a founding father and electrocuting kites in his quest invent an Electro-Death Ray to use against England in his war of independence.
After Franklin left the sport it continued for a few more years until the Cow Hill Tragedy where dozens of poorly aligned cows awaiting tipping started a domino like chain reaction that ended in half of Boston being crushed by rolling bovine.
Without Franklin at the helm and suffering the stigma of having partially destroyed Boston as well as the need for cows to fight the British, cow tipping faded away becoming mostly a drunken rural sport like Possum Kissing and Badger Swinging.
It had a brief resurgence during the Civil War where it was used to humiliate confederate cattle suspected of spying on union troops, but it wasn't until D.W. Griffith's groundbreaking, but mostly forgotten 1914 epic "Birth of Cowtipping" that people rediscovered it and a cow tipping craze started which reached its zenith during the roaring 20s... but that would not last long as prohibition set in and without vast quantities of alcohol, tipping became boring.
When prohibition was enacted it also made cow tipping illegal since booze and tipping often went hand in hand...
For a while mobsters actually ran illegal tipping parlors where the booze and bovine rolled freely, but the FBI would quickly shut these down as the incessant mooing was a dead giveaway to the feds. Eliot Ness' first foray into gang busting was shutting down tipping parlors.
Soon mobsters were using cows for drive by attacks on each other and the public turned its anger towards cow tipping as well as the mob.
When prohibition was lifted in 1933, the booze came back but people forgot about tipping altogether.
Cow tipping was dealt another serious blow during WWII when it was revealed that both Hitler and Mussolini were avid cow tippers and the stigma continued into the Cold War when U2 spy planes photographed Stalin's enormous cow tipping stadium outside Moscow.
By the 1960s the counterculture revolution had rediscovered cow tipping and how well it went with LSD and psychedelic music.
In fact few people know that Max Yasgur's Dairy farm wasn't just chosen for the site of the Woodstock Rock Festival for its terrific mud and bowl shaped terrain, but because it was the site of Max Yasgur's Funkadelic Cow Cornucopia of Tipping and Tripping which was held there yearly since 1961.
Cow tipping faded away by the late 70s when Disco songs like "Don't Tip Me Baby" and "Mooin' On The Dance Floor" made tipping seem nerdy and unpopular.
By the 80s video games had replaced tipping as a form of entertainment and when Atari produced the game "Moo Rollers" for its 2600 console, the complete lack of interest almost bankruptd the company, resulting in millions of cartridges being buried in the desert next to the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa, outside of Las Vegas.
Today it barely exists except for nostalgic teens LARPing as the popular teen hero Benjamin Franklin or Tic-Tocking their exploits online...
Perhaps Cow Tipping will find a place once again in this world... who knows... after all, it's a stupid unpredictable world.
Disclaimer...
Do not repeat this at a party... one because you should be going to parties yet, and two because some of this is still considered controversial and three some of this may not be entirely historically accurate as I mostly just wrote this from memory based on a paper I wrote in college (I was hiding out there, not going to it)...
But since history is mostly stuff that happened in the past and the further back you go, the deader the people who lived it are, the harder it is to prove it didn't actually go down like I said it did.
While I was copying that to Notes, I found a speech I wrote in 2019 when I was thinking of throwing my hat into the presidential race...
...I am reminded of the words of president Benjamin Franklin Denzel Roosevelt as he gave his famous speech on top of a brand new invisible stealth Sherman tank in front of the Starbucks across the street from the smoldering remains of the White House in 1812, after the Canadians had burned it down...
“Ich bin ein Berlinda Carlisle... Ask, not what your country can do for you, but how much is that doggie in the window?...
So let us begin anew... remembering that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof of purchase.
Let us never negotiate out of fear, for we have nothing to fear but fear itself...
And spiders... And werewolves... And suspiciously warm toilet seats.
Let us never fear to negotiate or negotiate fearfully while negotiating with ferocious goats...
And so we choose to go to the moon, which is part of Mars, not because it’s made of cheese, but because it’s made of cheese from the beautiful city of Belgium and Belgium, just like Finland always rakes their leaves in the winter to prevent drug smuggling coyotes dogs from starting forest fires...
So Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall and let’s build a beautifuller wall so high Space Force can more effectively protect us from the Moon Martians and the dreaded Ming the Merciless... We must remember that it is not the doer of deeds that does the done deeds, nor the deeds that the doer did which are now done, but that what is done, is done...
And we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain nor shall the undead rise and eat us... but that this nation, shall have a beautiful new birth of freedom and that a government of some people, by some people, for some people, shall not perish from this place...”
Well, lucky I misplaced my hat and couldn't run... because you know I'd have been elected if I ran... I'm a great speech writer as you can see... I'm like a DJ of speeches... that entire speech is like a remix of famous speeches all balled up into one awesome speech.
I bet everyone was choked up by that.
Naah... y'all really dodged a bullet with that one... I'm not even sure I own a suit anymore.
I love the last few pages of a thread ,they get so crazy !!
Ben Franklin is my favorite founding father. i like to call him Dad.
is a nice day out for buppies to take their humans for a walk
The Cow Tipped over the Moon Complaint Thread
Is the thread split when it rolls over to 100 or to 101?
first post on page 101 becomes the top post for the new thread There are 3000 posts in 100 pages just FYI
oh dear. i ordered a seltzer watr with my pizza. i cant see the lael but ise suspecting by its deliciousness it may be a sprite.
havent had soda sugar in over 15 years. who needs crack or xtc. bring on the sugar sprite.
Non-complaint, I have never gotten to name the complaint thread.
Complaint: Duke's basketball season appears to have come to an early end due to COVID. While there is still a slim chance of being in the NCAA tournament, it doesn't appear to be likely.
...when I was visiting a college friend back in summer of '76, the beaches were closed because of a sludge alert. Apparently that was somewhat a common occurrence back then.
So if I, by some weird and probably won't happen coincidence, become the 101 post that turns into the first post, do I get a prize?
For my prize I would like a dish of escargot stuffed in mushroom caps, filled with garlic butter, topped with parmesan and smoked oysters on 25% less salt Trisket crackers (I must watch my weight after all), as side dishes served with Taco Salad...yummy. Oh and for dessert I could never resist double chocolate fudge ice cream topped with coffee whipped cream....and all that just for lunch, still need to come up with something for supper and then late night snack (thank god I have an exercise machine, makes a good coat rack).
..ahh cow tipping , still a favourite pasttime in Wisconsin They petitioned to get it, along with Bowling and Cornhole recognised as Olympic events in preparation for their bid to host the Ssummer Olympics in 2048 .
...The I Never got to Name The Complaint Thread Compalint Thread.
...The Beach Was Closed by Sludge Complaint Thread.
...The Why Should We Tip Cows WhenThey Don't Work In Pubs Complaint Thread?
You get to name the thread!
Dana
So many non-complaints!
I found an entire cooler full of Razzle Berry Energy drinks at the other gas station.
My Dad and Stepmother just got their Covid vaccines.
I found, downloaded, and figured out how to use the Nik collection! (It felt harder than it should have! )
I dodged that stupid potluck dinner and nobody said "boo!"
The husband just walked in with a Jones Berry soda present!
Weeeeeee~!!
Well, technically that was bicentennial sludge, which was a form of festive commemorative sludge used to decorate the beaches and rivers of the east coast for the 200th anniversary of Benjamin Franklin's invention of sludge.
okay I have a puzzle and a complaint ,has anybody else noticed things in your wishlist that are no longer avaiable for sale ? Just for example I was checking to see what was cheapest in my wishlist and 3 items popped up that had regular price on them and yet when I click on them they just go to a oops page like this one "Artificial Nails for Genesis 8 Female" andI really wanted that .....darn it but it "POOF" gone from the store ...
Yep, first position on the thread has ability to edit the title. I got it once. And this current thread isn't mine but the title established was one of my suggestions.
Non-complaint: I've rigged up my DAZing computer with remote wired keyboard & mouse (saves on batteries) and wireless headphones, and moved my "Obduction" game to it because it has the zippy CPU and GPU and oodles of fast RAM. No more waiting a minute or two for scene changes. This is about my third time through the game. I know it pretty well, but still get lost and get things out of order, but it's fun when the graphics are smooth and don't crash and you have a general idea what needs to be done and don't mind "running" from place to place just watching the scenery go by and thinking about the task at hand. "Obduction" is yet another game from the people who brought us "Myst", "Riven", Real Myst" (an unrestricted movement version of the original), "Myst III: Exile", "Uru: Ages Beyond Myst" & "Path of the Shell", "Myst IV: Revelation", and "Myst V: End of Ages" and "Obduction". There is, I believe, yet another new version of the original "Myst" but upgraded again and made for VR. And there is rumor of another game after "Obduction" called "Firmament".
"Riven" remains my favorite despite the low technology, it was great scenery and interesting puzzles.
"Obduction" is quite complex expecially near the end and you really have to have your thinking cap on and beef up your spacial relationship memory.
These are really the only games I've played. Oh, I've dabbled with some other adventure games but cheated heavily and never played them more than once. I keep a couple of old Dell XP machines around just for playing the old Myst series games, that don't work on newer machines without heavy patching and frequent problems. Although the original "Myst" is so old that I never play it because I don't have an old enough machine. I play "Real Myst" instead. It's mostly the same thing but runs better.
To avoid gloomy darkness and depression, the non-complaints help balance things.
Balance is everything
Complaint: Neighbor in the other half of the house is cooking something that smells absolutely marvelous. And they never offer me any of it. So, I eat a dill pickle and mope.
...especially when it involves the checking account.
Neighbor's cat was just sitting in the yard staring at nothing obvious. Moping. So, I called "Confuse-A-Cat".
Complaint...
Please, please don't let this be the beginning of pop-ups...
I love Pop-ups! My favorite flavor iw Strawberry, Page 99.
Complaint: Aughhhh.... I've literally spent the time from 9:00AM to now 1:25PM (except for lunch) trying to send mail to myself. I use Microsoft Outlook2019 (the $$$ standalone version, not free cloud version or the $$$ Office360 version). I have a MIcrosoft email account with an "...@outlook.com" address. I'm logged into my computer with the Microsoft account (not a "local" account). Yet, from this computer I cannot, for the life of me, send email to that account from any of my other email accounts except another Microsoft account like "...@hotmail.com" However, from my Android cellphone with the Outlook app installed I can send using one of my 3rd party accounts (yes, I have many email accounts accumulated in the last 40 years) I keep getting the message "None of your e-mail accounts could send to this recipient" Other people can send to my problematic account, but not me. I've tested all my other accounts and mailing between them and everything works except emailing to this one "...@outlook.com" account.
Other than this problem, I love Outlook as my email app. So, today I decided to dive in and finally fix this problem. The most promising suggestion on the web was that it was corruption in the autofill address mechanism or a bad entry in one of my (many) contact files that Outlook has somehow found or keeps as cache info somewhere. I believe I've now succeeded in stopping all autofill address nonsense and yet my "...@outlook.com" address doesn't leave my computer. I've come to the conclusion that the problem is in my local installation of the Outlook app. and never even gets to the Microsoft Exchange server.
It's not really a show stopping problem, I rarely send email to myself and if I had to I could use any of my other non-microsoft email accounts. But I'm tearing my hair out over this issue. This shouldn't be this difficult.
It's Saturday afternoon. I'm defeated. I think I'll plop in my easy chair with a shot of brandy and vegetate. Wheee...