After months , my comic book project sees the light !

Hi all , 

it's been a while I came here. For years of learning daz , for months preparing my storyboard, my style, organizing my needs in terms of assets, etc, my second comic book project is about to be done :) 

Here is a sample of the first volume. If you could do me a feedback , about the style , the layout , the rythm , or any other things , 'd'be great :)  My brother is the only one who has seen this for the moment ^^ 

 

Thanx a lot ! 

 

https://online.fliphtml5.com/odzyd/ppcm/#p=1

Comments

  • FirstBastionFirstBastion Posts: 7,771

    Exceelent storytelling, sequential panels,  and pacing. My French is rusty but I understood what was happening. The atmosphere,  art style (painterly filter)  and page layout are all well done.

  • FirstBastionFirstBastion Posts: 7,771

    The one thing missing though,  was a title/cover.  I can understand you holding on to that for now. Good job on all of it.

  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145

    Thanks a lot , mate ! 

    Yerp , for the moment I did not think about the cover... , neither if I should divide the story in 3 tomes or leave it in one big volume. 

    Thanx a lot for the feedback anyway :) 

  • csaacsaa Posts: 824
    edited August 2023

    MaloneXI,

    I couldn't follow the text as I don't speak the language. For example, I couldn't guess correctly if the boxed text was the narrator speaking or a character thinking out loudly. Maybe a short synopsis of character and the plot? That sort of precis would be very helpful for a non-native speaker.

    Nevertheless I enjoyed the comic! Artwise the tone and the atmosphere complement the unfolding events. And the panel layout plus the camera framing set the pace (short, quick cuts; expansive pauses), tracing the rising action. I particularly enjoy the minimal yet effective use of sci-fi HUD glyphs and overlays; setting their color saturation and accents help them stand out from the grim scenery. All together, you arranged these visual and story elements quite well. My guess is that this isn't your first time producing a comic. It's obvious you bring a practiced hand to the task.

    If you could indulge me, what are your sources of inspiration? Which comics, novels and films do you enjoy?

    Thanks for sharing.

    Cheers!

    PS. There is the thread 3D Comic Book Tips And Pictures. Sharing your work there may be worth it!

    Post edited by csaa on
  • FirstBastionFirstBastion Posts: 7,771

    MaloneXI said:

    Thanks a lot , mate ! 

    Yerp , for the moment I did not think about the cover... , neither if I should divide the story in 3 tomes or leave it in one big volume. 

    Thanx a lot for the feedback anyway :) 

     Breaking it up into three parts of a series,  gives you a chance to build a following and nurture enthuiasm from your audience. If you plan on selling it,  Customers are more likely to buy the first issue since it costs less per unit,  and then buy the next one after reading the first. It also gives you some time to start working on a followup series if this one turns out to be successful.

  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145
    edited August 2023

    oooh , thanx a lot , dude :)

    Yep, you're totally right about what you first said. For the narration speech bubble , I will inverse them, white text on a black background, to différenciate the narrative voice from the character's. And , more , just translate the french into english, for sure ! :D

    Rah, I do appreciate the fact that you like the tone , and the layout , tracing the action ! I've tried to do my best giving some kind of action rythm. 

    Well , for the little explanation about your observation : I'm a 3D designer for a long time , I do photography too , so I like good camera framings and good lightings. Daz is absolutely amazing to translate that. 
    It's not my first comic book , you're right :) . The first one was a story made with my brother , 20 years ago , and for his birthday, 2 years ago , I gave it to him after working on it for one year , a pretty good present :D. It took time to start, but he was really happy about this tribute of our youth.


    But it was a black and white manga-toned story, a style really different than this new one, wich ogliged me to understand how to masterize the halftone cameras , etc. 

     

    But I was not really satisfied about the style. halftone cameras were too complicated to deal with all the iray shaders to convert , etc. So I did it in post production into photoshop , but mmm. Good but not great result. 

    For this new one , it's my own story. And I wanted to have a new style , colorised , but near the style of european comic books , you know. With a touch of water color effect , something more traditionnal , that can be editable with my wacom , etc. 

    Well you know , my different sources of inspiration are the scifi world , and universe like Bilal , Schuitten , and this kind of authors . I don't have the same level , for sure huhu , but I wanted to have a recognisable european style , or something near from it. The post prod of water color effect has been a really hard work to find. To make the renders a bit more dirty. The main default with a 3D render is that the 3D , even if you have volumetrics , aberrations , etc , have way too much a synthetic look. Dirtying them , and hiding some 3D details are giving such an incomprhension about the visual context of a frame and make them more attractive visually , in my opinion of course. 

     

    Post edited by MaloneXI on
  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145

    FirstBastion said:

    MaloneXI said:

    Thanks a lot , mate ! 

    Yerp , for the moment I did not think about the cover... , neither if I should divide the story in 3 tomes or leave it in one big volume. 

    Thanx a lot for the feedback anyway :) 

     Breaking it up into three parts of a series,  gives you a chance to build a following and nurture enthuiasm from your audience. If you plan on selling it,  Customers are more likely to buy the first issue since it costs less per unit,  and then buy the next one after reading the first. It also gives you some time to start working on a followup series if this one turns out to be successful.

     

    Yep , you're right. For now I didn't create it to be sold. But , anyway , if friends of mine or others wanted a paper support of the comic book , divide the story into 30pages books (standard for photobooks impression systems in my country) should be cheaper , about the costs instead a big one of 90 pages. 

    Glad you loved it anyway , thanx a lot again :) 

     

  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145
    edited August 2023

    More globally , for my inspirations sources , you know , I was born at the begining of the 80's , so I really like all actions movies like Star Gates , The Thing , Soldier movies , Spielberg , Scott , etc. All these fundamentals , you know. :p

    This comic book is more a kind of reference to my gamer life , mixed with all this movie and comic book culture. I play tactical games , generally FPS games , with friends , and it's a kind of tribute to it. The way the characters are moving , the way they hold guns , the way they are standing, tactical poses , etc. 

    But the most important , it's the story. And I think I've found something a bit interesting :) Well , more to come. 



     

    Post edited by MaloneXI on
  • chris-2599934chris-2599934 Posts: 1,824
    edited August 2023

    Well, it looks gorgeous.

    I couldn't really follow the text, partly that's because of my rusty French, but also I find the text size diffcult to read. If there was a way to view each page on it's own instead of as a double-page spread it wouldn't be so much of a problem - but if there is, I couldn't find it. Maybe it's just my small screen/old eyes.

    Is it really supposed to say KPOWK!POW on the last page? I'd have thought KPOW!KPOW or KPOWKPOW! would make more sense. What's a kpowk?

    Post edited by chris-2599934 on
  • FirstBastionFirstBastion Posts: 7,771
    edited August 2023

    chris-2599934 said:

     

    Is it really supposed to say KPOWK!POW on the last page? I'd have thought KPOW!KPOW or KPOWKPOW! would make more sense. What's a kpowk?

     I'm assuming he was suggesting a doubletap. Two shots rapid sucession. tap-tap.  (perhaps after the spell check)

    Post edited by FirstBastion on
  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145
    edited August 2023
    Huhu maybe a "BAM ! BAM !" should be more expressive ? I'm opened to any suggestions :)
    Post edited by MaloneXI on
  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145

    Well, it looks gorgeous.

    I couldn't really follow the text, partly that's because of my rusty French, but also I find the text size diffcult to read. If there was a way to view each page on it's own instead of as a double-page spread it wouldn't be so much of a problem - but if there is, I couldn't find it. Maybe it's just my small screen/old eyes.

    Is it really supposed to say KPOWK!POW on the last page? I'd have thought KPOW!KPOW or KPOWKPOW! would make more sense. What's a kpowk?

    Yep that's because i haven't found another to way to share it. But yep, it's not si easy to read the texts on this flipbook format. Normally it's done to be printed. That's why.
  • Griffin AvidGriffin Avid Posts: 3,764

    I liked the atmosphere. It felt very dark, brooding and full of despair!

    I though the site was not working because the first few pages were blank and...no cover or intro page.

    Maybe you could just put the title and writer/artist name for now.

  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145

    Thanx a lot for the answer ! 

    YEp , as I said , it's just a sample , and I didn't think about the cover for now , maybe this week end ^^. The website for the flipbook system takes a time to load the images I think . :/ 

  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145

    I put my link here , too. Sorry for the post repeat , but it's the orignal post ^^'. 

    https://online.fliphtml5.com/lzymu/gjsj/

    The other link does not work anymore. This one is a translation from france to us. Hope you'll enjoy it. 

    Don't be shy , feel free to make all the critics you could ! 

    Thanx ! 

  • DiomedeDiomede Posts: 15,182

    Griffin Avid said:

    I liked the atmosphere. It felt very dark, brooding and full of despair!

    I though the site was not working because the first few pages were blank and...no cover or intro page.

    Maybe you could just put the title and writer/artist name for now.

    +1

    Congratulations!  It can be so hard for a creative person to get started, to minimize distractions, and to declare finis.  You did an amazing job.  

  • MaloneXIMaloneXI Posts: 145

    Thanx a lot ! 

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