I'm losing my family all at once

Ron Knights

My father and his wife, my step-mother are in a nursing home, dealing with dementia, etc. For all intents and purposes, they are "gone" out of reach.

My only remaining brother is now in hospice, with failing kidneys. He'd been plagued with numerous health concerns over decades, due to complications of diabetes, and his own unwillingness to participate in his own care. I had already lost one brother at age of 37, back in 1987 due to diabetes and alcoholism. I am totally crushed.

In 2014 I moved back to Minnesota to be near family once again. I hadn't seen my brother in over 30 years. We were never really close, and that didn't change My parents were hit by health concerns, and unable to stay in touch.

I live in a senior living apartment building. I've made many friends. But, unfortunately, people our age are known to get sick, move elsewhere or die. I love the good times, but the loss is so painful.

Serene Night

It's hard to lose your parents. I lost my father, my sister and my mother in the span of a few years. I am sorry you are going through that.

ArtAngel

Ron Knights said:

My father and his wife, my step-mother are in a nursing home, dealing with dementia, etc. For all intents and purposes, they are "gone" out of reach.

My only remaining brother is now in hospice, with failing kidneys. He'd been plagued with numerous health concerns over decades, due to complications of diabetes, and his own unwillingness to participate in his own care. I had already lost one brother at age of 37, back in 1987 due to diabetes and alcoholism. I am totally crushed.

In 2014 I moved back to Minnesota to be near family once again. I hadn't seen my brother in over 30 years. We were never really close, and that didn't change My parents were hit by health concerns, and unable to stay in touch.

I live in a senior living apartment building. I've made many friends. But, unfortunately, people our age are known to get sick, move elsewhere or die. I love the good times, but the loss is so painful.

The most important thing you can try to do is think positive and God knows how difficult that is at times like this. You can't do a whole lot to change what cards have been dealt your way, but something you can do is control your thoughts. The brain and how we think, what we expect, how we handle adversity, can break or make us. I lost two brothers and four pets last year. And it sure did not seem like a deserving or fair deal.The truth is life can suck. But life can also make us feel blessed and humbled to survive the smothering adversities. Find something you love to do, something that makes you smile, something that makes you happy, and focus on that for an hour a day. It could be cutting newspaper clippings, watering plants, feeding ferals, whatever turns your crank. When life gives us a bunch of negativity, the only way to overcome  it, and become resilient, is to focus on something good. It will make the pain dissipate for a short while, and sometimes a short while, every now and then,  is all we need to catch our breath and face the storms that stalk us. Pain sucks but it often makes us stronger. When we bounce back from challenges, we become a better us. It's okay to cry and feel bad. Resilience never happens to people who always feel good. Resilence is the by-product of pain. Stay strong. Stay well.

Kitsumo

I'm really sorry to hear about that, Ron. I lost my parents to dementia, and soon after, my brother developed it. I think my sister is in the early stages (kind of forgetful, but still able to function). It's a terrible ailment.

Ron Knights

Thanks, everyone, for your support, and for sharing your own insights and experiences.

I'm slowly muddling through each day. That's the best I can do.