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zinesses
Looks like my brother in law, you happen to know him?
Not unless he hops about a lot making "ribbit*" and "GRRR" noises.
...anyway, let's get into a warped Christmas mood shall we...
We Wish You A Very Niburu Christmas
(This was done a couple of years back. Needless to say he didn't arrive. Probably travelling British Rail - leaves on the line)
*I know that Mr Hoppity's pose is more rabbity than froggy, but that doesn't mean that he makes rabbit noises. Besides, I have no idea what noise a rabbit makes. So he makes frog noises. And monster noises.
...or how about...
Merry Apocalypse
This was the third in a triptych of Four Horsemen renders. I suppose that I should go and dig out the first and second now ? Found them !
...and then there were a few entries for an old RDNA Christmas "Holiganda" contest...
Red Menace
Just Mince Pies And Brandy ?
Carrot And Stick
Almost done now, just a few more left in my stoopid box.
Scrumpy Drunk Yellowjackets
I was going to write a long-winded explanation...
...suffice to say for now that fairyland is all around us. We just can't (or more accurately our brains refuse to) see it...
(P.S. Did you realize that Woggles, Whippets, Wookies, Wobbegongs, Wurlitzers, Wombats and Wurzels are just a few of the millions of types of fairies whose names we've appropriated for the make-believe world that most* of us think of as 'reality' ? )
*Not me though ! :D
Spaghetti* Eyes
Not many people grow their own spaghetti. And even amongst those that do, there are very, very few who grow the variety of spaghetti that little Morticia prefers...
(I think I've said this before, but it's worth saying again - little Morticia is a rather strange child...)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(You'll probably be relieved to know that my 'stoopid box' is now empty, so that's the end of the daily additions to this thread. But there're probably more stupid pictures lying around, and I may post more as I find them)
Discover more about Little Morticia in these pictures: Gardening | Dollie's Tea Party | Soul Candles | Spaghetti Eyes | {Ideas about Santa Cthlaus}
*as in 'spaghetti western', just in case that bit didn't click
I just have to say how much I appreciate your warped, sarcastic type of humor lol!
You do ? ! ... just for that, here's another one then...
Starchild
"Houston, the occupant of the spheroid bubble appears to be an ugly giant human baby wearing circus clown greasepaint.
And, errr, Houston ? He seems to be making an obscene gesture towards our planet.
Houston, I don't think this is a good sign..."
All really brilliant, except you forgot to give the men high heels in "Gorgeous".
Darn it, you're right ! Sooooo... I guess I'll have to do another one ?
... how about Argh! My Ankle !
Edit: In the meantime... I guess I should probably add a picture to this post ? Apologies that it's not really a stoopid one !
Back To Sleep
Why Didn't I Bring The Bazonka* ?
*more on bazonkas in a later post...
(neither image is currently in my gallery)
New one over on the Jan 2018 freebie challenge...
Unbelievable Tales
Other stories that may (or may not) appear in other issues include:
These story titles triggered off a whole slew of them... Pointless Prizeless Challenge #12: Render A (Stupid) Story Title
Link to this image in my gallery - https://www.daz3d.com/gallery/#images/505801/
Are codpieces within the ToS ? I do hope so. (Apologies in advance if they're not - this post will be deleted if that's the case)
The Angry Elephant
Assuming that codpieces are okay, how about an "Angry Elephant" to protect your warriors' family jewels ?
The "Angry Elephant" codpiece is made up of one of the V4 Armor Rings (DAZ) and V4 Tanya's nipple cups (no link as they cost money at Renderosity) - I was playing with ideas for the "repurposed" part of the "It's Raining Men" challenge...
(not currently in my gallery)
Here's an oldie. The picture's actually quite good. The stupid bit is what was going through my head as I honed the title (see below the picture)...
Goodbye Joe
Just for the record I have absolutely no idea who Joe is. The title was an afterthought that popped into my head when I uploaded the original colour version at RDNA/ShareCG last October, and it prompted a bizarre train of thought...
All I know is that this fella here seems to have some bad news for poor old Joe. But maybe Joe's a really nasty piece of work, and this guy's just delivering the proverbial 'what's coming to him'?
But then, what if Joe is actually the fella in the picture? That opens up a whole new slew of interpretations - one that just sprang to mind is that the title's just been spoken in a Marlene Dietrich voice. Not by guy-in-the-picture Joe - that would be a bit weird even for me... LOL (but see below)
And what if the guy in the picture is Joe, but so's the guy he's pointing the pifflegun* at? And what if it's the off-screen Marlene Dietrich voice saying "Goodbye Joe" but she's some sort of monstrous cthuloid alien? Or maybe the title-writer mistranscribed and the guy in the picture's saying "Goodbye Jo" to the Marlene Dietrich voice. Or he might even be taking the piss and mimicking her? And what if... etc...
*more on piffleguns in the next post...
Link to this image in my gallery - https://www.daz3d.com/gallery/images/108282
Another oldie. And again quite a good picture I think. And again, what's stupid was what was going through my head (see below the picture)...
Of Piffleguns And Bazonkas
(Original Title: Bazonka Time!)
"...we need BIGGER guns ! Rupert, hurry up and get the Bazonka up here !"
Don't ask me, I don't really have a clue... but I'd guess that a bazonka makes big holes in things.
Both the BazonkaTrooper and the *PiffleGunners are wearing JoeQuick's "M4 Sci-Fi Armor" (ShareCG), with an Ajax camouflage pattern. The Bazonka's an old Traveler goodie (RDNA), and the PiffleGuns are by Ravyn (Renderosity). All freebies - I'll try to track down the links.
*I assume that a pifflegun makes piffling little holes in things, as opposed to bazonking big ones. But as any pifflegunner will tell you "it's where you put the hole that's important, not the size of it!"
Edit 9th Aug 2018: A couple of extra thoughts:
Link to this image in my gallery - https://www.daz3d.com/gallery/#images/616256
Yet another oldie. I was looking for my first two pictures of the four horsemen of the apocalypse (as mentioned in the Merry Apocalypse post) but came across this instead...
Warriors Of Hatta
...but I did also find the first two pictures of the four horsemen that I mentioned here
Famine's Dilemma (Part 1)
[Famine]: "But what exactly will I be weighing in the end times?"
[War]: "The book seems to imply that you'll be weighing quarts of wheat and of barley."
[Famine]: "Are you sure? Shouldn't it be souls or something spiritual like that? Men's hearts?"
...Famine looks at the others weapons...
[Famine]: "Pounds of flesh perhaps?"
[Death]: "No, that's Shakespeare. It's definitely wheat and barley."
[Conquest]: "How much? If there's a large amount those scales aren't very practical. He'd be better with one of those checkout tills with the built-in weighing machine and bar-code scanner"
[Death]: "Be serious - how's he going to carry a checkout till on his horse?"
[War]: "Errr... if we're talking about upgrading, I'd like a 50 cal?"
[Famine]: "I could tow it behind me"
[Famine Horse]: "I'm not dragging a checkout till from here to Armageddon!"
[Conquest]: "Maybe we could get a mule to drag the checkout"
[Death]: "Oh honestly! Get with the times! Haven't any of you seen those digital hand-held scales?"
[War]: "What about my 50 cal? I could do my Arnie impression... 'I'll be back...' "
[Famine]: "Except you won't - that's the whole point of of Apocalypse, it's a one-off."
[Conquest]: "I thought it was Armageddon?"
[War]: "Oh, okay, what about 'Eat lead!' - did Arnie ever say that?"
...brief pause...
[Famine]: "Heeeyyyyy, I've just had an idea!"
Famines Dilemma (Part 2)
[Famine]: "Eat lead you muthas!"
[Famine (thinks)]: "I love the way that fits with the famine/food theme..."
(This picture also prompted a discussion amongst the Four Horses Of The Apocalypse about ditching the bozos, but I can't find a transcript)
(This picture could probably be retitled "Famine's Solution". Or "War's Dilemma". After all, Famine now has a 50 cal, and War has a serious case of armament envy. I think Death has too. Conquest is too busy with nasal excavation to care - too busy concentrating on avoiding sticking the arrow up his nose...)
Merry Apocalypse (Famine's Dilemma (Part 3))
See here
And yet another oldie.
Emasculatimilda
"Ahh! My dear! You are finally mine! Mwahahaaaa!
You are indeed a very foolish girl to believe that, of all things, a fairy godmother is going to save you from my evil desires*!
And that's not even a very good pretend magic word, is it? I don't thing you realise how silly "Emasculatimilda" sounds!
Perhaps you should have dreamed up a handsome prince to come and rescue you...
...errr...
...what did you say your fairy godmother was called? It was Helga wasn't it? No, it was Hilda... *gulp*
(as anybody who's even vaguely aware of Harry Potter knows, with magic words it's all in the pronunciation...)
*Just to be clear - Donald is a Latin master. His evil desires are to ensure that Princess Rose does her Latin homework
From about four years ago. I've only got a small render of this...
Give It Back !
"DAWN! Give it BACK! It's MINE! It doesn't even FIT you - I can see poke-through everywhere!"
"Awww, Vic, but you never use it! You've had it for ages and It's still got the label in... Awww, go on, pleeease, can I keep it?"
You crack me up. Love your sense of humor!
Thank you ! And for that you get an extra one for free! Another oldie (but this version has special added underwear*). Once again the picture's quite good - the stupid bit was the inevitable caption...
Here Kitty, Kitty !
Kat? Kat! You're hallucinating! I told you before not to drink that tea - I knew there was an odd taste to it. Now listen to me carefully. We're in a toy shop in the centre of London, in the soft toys department. No Kat! Stop growling at me! Come and put your clothes back on before we get in big trouble again.
*underwear added for the benefit of DAZ ToS
Oh dear, I'm off again ! Here's another oldie.
Cyberbabe Clone Troopers
Imperial Special Forces, Elite Shock Troops !
"Okay ladies: set your underwear to semi-transparent mode; set your phasers to 'Arouse'; prepare to advance in a provocative manner!"
More Warriors Of Hatta
Bet you didn't realize that those axey-scythey things were also craftily disguised bazonkas.
(For some reason I imagine the bomb just dropping on the floor with a 'plop' sound when he pulls the trigger...)
Oldie again
Warrior Princess ?
Warrior Princess? No, this is a "Barbarian Bikini Babes" audition. Screen tests for "Warrior Princess Wannabe" are in the next chamber, just down the tunnel - the entrance with the fancy oriental silk drapes.
For those who are interested, none of the three hopefuls pictured here made it to the finals. Tracey, with the scimitar, failed the audition - apparently the judges thought she was too 'girly'. Sonja, with the two cleavers, was knocked out in the following round for NOT being girly enough. Lily, with the moonblades made it to the semi-finals but was disqualified when her nipple-cups came unstuck - Barbarian TV is, after all, a family channel, and while titillation is THE main factor in their success, actual nipples are a big no-no!
But it turn's out that the three girls were quite lucky really. On the night of the finals a horde of real barbarian women wearing animal hides and mud'n'dung makeup, incensed at what they'd seen on their satellite TVs, came steaming down from the mountains on their battle-yaks, stormed the studio, and carried everybody off to teach them a lesson. The finalists, crew, and audience now spend their days collecting and drying yak dung to burn as fuel on the barbarian cooking fires.
Let that be a lesson to you.
Another oldie. I think this picture is missing the battle yak and satellite dish
Barbarian Queen
Wow ! This brings back memories!
Here's a couple that my alter-ego posted years back for one of the PC anniversary bashes.
I really wanted some proper armour for V4, so...
The armour was one of the winners of the vote. And coincidentally there was simultaneously a nice chainsaw for free. So...
And I just found another* "Vote V4 Historical Armour" that I'd totally forgotten about !
*If you're observant you may be thinking "Hang on a mo'... you said you really wanted some proper armour (i.e. this V4 historical armour). But to do this render you must have already got the armour, mustn't you ?". Correct. But think like the cheapskate. You've recently paid full-price for that armour, but it's still within the 30-day DAZ price guarantee.Soooo... if you can get it to win the vote you can get a refund of the difference ! So I did. And I did.
And another two-parter
Danger Lurks...
Danger lurks in the most unexpected places...
...
LOVE this!
And this is stunning! and probably more true to life than anything lol.
Edit: Whoops! Forget to say "Thanks IceDragonArt!"
Various stupid ideas I had for using the 5 items I ended up with in the inaugural Not So Fast contest. One of them was the basis for the final cut.
Two of them made enough sense that I had captions prepared for them:
Edit: after Redfern's comment (2 down) I remembered that idea 6 also had a tentative caption...
"The hotel doesn't mind guests bringing their own environments, but would prefer it if they kept them inside their rooms."
My five items from the Not So Fast! contest were: Sets: A Curious Hallway, Echoes of Andromeda; Props: Regenerator (Prop), Thursdays Child- Deaddy Bear (Bear), Playtime (Hobby Horse); Character: RDNA Sluggians
Here's how I ended up with them (only posting this because I actually went to the trouble of working it out!). I've used # to indicate the NSF number:
Set 1: The Alcove => [Novica's #4 via barbult] DM's Anardhaus => [Kismet2012's #9 via Novica] Crypta Sepultus => [own #8 via IceDragonArt] Echoes of Andromeda
Set 2: Summer Gazebo => [own #2 on dreamfarmer] A Curious Hallway
Prop 1: Steam BIke Pro (Pile of Luggage) => [dreamfarmer's #5] Regenerator (Prop)
Prop 2: Technophilia Arcane: Star Scope (Scope) => [IceDragonArt's #5] Chainsaw => [RGcincy's #5] Morphable Meershaum (Pipe) => [Saphirewild's #4via xmasrose] Thursdays Child- Deaddy Bear (Bear)
Prop 3: Mortuorum Sacris (Coffin Lid) => [RGcincy's #7 via Novica] Jump Your Way (Full Gate 4) => [xmasrose's #7 via dreamfarmer] Dystopian Console => [own #6 via xmasrose] Playtime (Hobby Horse)
Character 1: Warrior Maiden Tanwen (V4) => [own #1] Yasuo for Lee 6 => [Stormlyght's #9 via xmasrose] She Freak V4 => [Novica #5] RDNA Sluggians
Whoa! Very "dreamscape(y)", particularly "Idea 06" with the restricted lighting and the rocks seemingly "flowing" through the door.
Sincerely,
Bill