The My Bucket's Got a Hole In It Complaint thread
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Yes you should see a doctor. Telling us will get you sympathy, yes. But sympathy won't save your life, and it sure sounds like you have a lot of serious stuff going on.
Yep, they sure were.
Maybe, maybe not. Is that cat in the box alive?
This is all good, but what makes me happy is being able to be generous from time to time. Not $25 or $50 generous, either. And I have very strict guidance on where I will put my generosity.
The three things that would most adversely reduce my generosity are higher taxes, higher inflation, and leaving the workforce too early. I can't control the first two, but I do have some control over the third one. I have a lot of control over that one, actually. So I keep educating and training myself, and don't fool myself into quitting my job for art or music or "to start a foundation" or anything else that doesn't bring in cash; not until I've got all I need to meet my goals.
Like the author Chris Hogan says, "I'm focused, not finished!"
This is an excellent point. Throughout Covid, I've been working on developing my "contentment muscle". I've really cut way down on my discretionary spending, although I did buy a new music keyboard about a month ago, and I'll pretty much always have a reasonably current iPhone and iPad. But I no longer jump at every single opportunity to go out with friends to spend money. That actually allows me to buy a round of drinks once in awhile, while still keeping my budget and life goals in line!
To Kyoto Kid: I've not walked in your shoes, so I won't question all of the things you've done. I'm glad you are able to be comfortable in your life, however.
If they aren't real fish then they probably aren't real gold either... maybe they are Naugagoldfish... The counterfeit goldfish market has become a problem in recent years with black market smugglers importing fake gold and platinumfish which are no more than spray painted carp or plastic anchovies.
Or equally possible, they are just a hallucination... Maybe not even your own... this could all be part of a construct of the sleepless vision of a madman's cat's fevered hallucination... and I'm not just saying that to recycle something I said several posts earlier in an effort to speed this thread towards its impending demise... okay... maybe a little, but... it's actually more of a philosophical postulation than a literal interpretation of the motives of that cat that's been spying on you lately... (if you haven't noticed, don't worry, it's nothing to be concerned with yet...) ...(yet)... Anyway...
The odds of your goldfish not being actual fish are fairly low... granted, they could be bunch of scuba hamsters posing as goldfish to monitor you and prevent you from your future transformation into the Supervillain "Badwolf" in the nearish future... but since the cat is already watching you the odds that scuba hamsters would independently be part of another team keeping tabs on you are pretty slim.
Anyway, from what I've read, Badwolf only teamed up with Mr. Mittens after he went rogue and decided to give her the Parallax Stone in 2024 which transformed her earthly form into the supervillain she's infamous as... none of the textbooks mention her having goldfish, but they don't mention the scuba hamsters until the first assassination attempt in 2026, but that involved a cyborg kangaroo and two radicalized gerbils...
In 2027 her minions got her a bunch of sharks with lasers on their heads as gag gift, but they were great white sharks and not even remotely similar to goldfish...
Most likely they are either real goldfish or incredibly detailed plastic replicas with monitoring equipment inside, sent from the future to study you since Mr. Mittens turned out to be a rogue agent sent by Doctor Dystopia, and wasn't actually even keeping a journal of your activities as he was supposed to be...
In fact, since Doctor Dystopia actually turned out to be Badwolf's alternate universe twin from the past and only sent Mr. Mittens to deliver the Parallax Stone as a way of changing her own timeline because she was bitten by a radioactive goldfish and needed to have better supervillain powers than the ability to eat lots of brine shrimp and tubifex worms, which by giving Badwolf superpowers and then stealing them for herself, she was finally able to use the Parallax Stone for, which she couldn't utilize because it was ineffectual in transforming matter from her timeline...
Sadly this meant consuming Badwolf to achieve that, but consequently it made Mr. Mittens remorseful because after spying on her for so long he'd fallen in love with her, and this resulted in him sacrificing himself to save Badwolf, who by that point had been transformed into the ethereal being "Photonchick" and was trapped in the Parallax Stone... Seeing all the destruction and misery Badwolf had caused she became determined to stop Doctor Dystopia from fulfilling her nefarious plans, so when Mr. Mittens fractured the Parallax Stone with the Reality Hammer, Badwolf merged her non corporeal form with his dead body and became Ultra Kitty and was able to temporarily defeat Doctor Dystopia...
So since Doctor Dystopia's signature design feature was goldfish related paraphernalia, it's highly probable that your goldfish are actually just highly sophisticated plastic replicas with trans dimensional monitoring equipment sent from a different alternate timeline by Doctor Utopia/Dystopia (long story) or just a bunch of real goldfish blissfully unaware of who their current owner will become.
I hope this helps.
Interesting story and a very sound philosophy.
Are you sure the cat isn't a male? Or close enough to a male to be an impediment to producing kittens? Although, I've come to understand that given all of time and space, that anything not forbidden is somewhere, somewhen, and somehow, inevitable.
You never know with cats and small dogs... My mother's chihuahua used to hump a little bear we had given HER for a toy...
Summer of 2021. In fact today, right now.
Wasn't "Cat-In-The-Box" a popular fast food joint in the 80s, until someone found a hairball in their burger and everyone realized it wasn't just a marketing ploy meant to attract Schrodinger fans, but instead referenced a main ingredient?
Could also have been an alternate timeline/parallel universe thing... I forget.
Any sawdust pooping puppies?
No, but the battered bear looked somewhat relieved when it's mistress passed away after 14 years.
Now THIS is interesting. Is the cat alive or dead? Is it pregnant or not? Will it purr when I open the box or will it bite my face? Will it have to pee or will it have to poo if I open the box?
This makes me ever more resolute in not having a cat; I don't want to have to keep track of somebody else's bowel movements. That's my theory and I'm sticking too it!
Nope, you've almost got it right. It was "Jack in the Box".
Okay, I feel that I have to explain this to you. Fish will never help you with a water change. Never; not once has this happened in all the history of fish. This may be shocking to you, but there's actually a rule about this. Water changes are something you do because you love your fish. You do it out of your love for the fish, or maybe just because dead fish tend to stink up the place. It doesn't matter what your motivation is, as long as you do the water changes. In any event, you do this for the fish without any expectation of anything (love included) in return.
I know this from years of having fish. By the way, I also learned that they will not help with dinner, dishes, laundry, taxes, or even just making you feel better when you're down. For all those things and many more, you should look within yourself, not to your fish. I hope that helps. But yeah, a fish doesn't even have hands to carry the bucket, or legs to move the bucket from the faucet to the tank.
If you want a pet that will help take care of itself, get an independent adult who does his (or her; I won't judge!) own laundry, cooking, cleaning, bed making, and so forth.
OMG, that was so funny...
FedEx delivers here on Mondays. So no, it's not true. Are you listening to the same person who told you that fish have arms and legs?
I'm glad you asked...
I was just discussing this with a Greek mythology study group... (not be confused with the shabby looking dumpster raccoons in back of the 7-Eleven, which I was discussing particle physics with the other day... these were different dumpster raccoons in back of Dunkin Donuts, so they were more familiar with the role of FedEx in modern mythology)...
I believe the question you are referencing was a rumor started in the mid 90s by a group of Dickensian Monks in the mountains of eastern Florida after they noticed their parcels of wooden woolen thongs were not arriving on schedule every Monday as they used to, but being that they were blind (not actually, but part of their vows involved the wearing of really dark sunglasses all the time) they failed to notice that the thong manufacturer had switched from FedEx to Flying Tigers which stopped delivering to Florida after an embarrassing manatee smuggling incident.
FedEx does indeed deliver on Mondays, unless it's a national holiday like Christmas, Genghis Khan Day or The Feast of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion... in which case the package will be delivered the next non-holiday day or tossed into an industrial incinerator if it's not interesting looking... also be aware that FedEx does not deliver to volcanic craters, flooded valleys or days involving nuclear holocausts.
I hope this was helpful.
tyger tyger burning bright
can never remember the next line, i think it rhymes with bright
mary mary quite contray, show you howta walk the dawg dag awwg
jack and jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. jill came down with two fifty doh
no one remembers the chuck norris jokes no moars
The Complaint Thread
The Cookie Monster Delete Cookies Complaint Thread
...nice.
When I moved into my current place I had to shed a lot of stuff. which included a fair amount of my cooking gear (just not enough cupboard room to store it) . Kept the most essential pieces though like my cast iron and stainless steel cookware a few odd plates/bowls and one nice 4 place set of black glass dishware (just in case someday I ever have a couple guests over). The purge was a good thing in the long run though.
Yeah, I'd still like to take my un-escorted swing through Europe at my own speed, visit the old hometown where I grew up once more (which is finally recovering after the rust belt fell apart decades ago), and maybe one more trip to Hawai'i.. However as I mentioned above, I've had to set my sights a bit lower. Crikey the prosepct of a trip to Vegas for a good freind's wedding nex month almost makses me giddy.
...ah, that explains some the odd looking hyper yappy critters I see people walking around my neighbourhood.
I still wonder about the chihuahuas and weiner dogs I see that have the same markings as a doberman
...The My Feet are Hurting Again Complaint Thread.
...The Goldfish Are Extradiemensional Cyborg Spies Complaint Thread.
in the forests of the night
It's by Willaim Blake
Slight modification: The Cookie Monster Ate My Cookies Complaint Thread