The [Disco Chives] Misplaced Parrot Complaint Thread

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  • DanaTADanaTA Posts: 13,175

    McGyver said:

    Korpin.Sulat said:

    McGyver said:

    Complaint: I'm looking at used cars again and the website I'm using to locate ones near me...

    You are without a doubt the best free satirist I've had the enjoyment of reading.

    Thank you... but I'm sorry you had to read that... Also, I forgot what I wrote, so I reread it and noticed how many spelling and grammatical errors spellcheck added because it clearly hates me... I have terrible grandma to begin with and stupid spell changes keeps chicken everywhere I wrote if I don't keep checking oh what it's wronging... it's exhausting frustrating to keeping happy to go backwards and correct whatever's it inserted implacable of what I  wronged. You know how I mean?... Spelling change clearly doesn't have a class.

    Sorry, but I didn't reap any of that about buttons I'm surly it turned out find.

    I don't think even iPone autocorrect could say it better!!!  laugh 

  • NylonGirlNylonGirl Posts: 1,727

    McGyver said:

    besides, buying a space car over the internet is stupid... 

    It is my understanding that online shopping has been the preferred way to buy space cars ever since the year 2117 when SFariah made this post. Either that or the post was made in 2021 and a pork chop costs $17. I don't know.

  • kyoto kidkyoto kid Posts: 40,932
    edited January 19

    McGyver said:

    Complaint: I'm looking at used cars again and the website I'm using to locate ones near me... but since I'm looking for specific vehicles, I keep getting further and further away... fine, but the website puts the vehicle mileage right under the distance to the dealership... I'm skimming over the info and I'm like "124,896 miles... where is this car, on the moon?" Well, technically that's closer to Lunar Distant Retrograde Orbit, but still, that's a terrible idea... The car is only $17,000 but like the shipping from LDRO has got to be around $187,000,000 give or take $10... plus they never guarantee it will survive re-entry... and if the delivery it right to the house, what if the parachute fails... I don't need those kind of problems... besides, buying a space car over the internet is stupid... 

    ...speaking of cars in space, there is a Tesla Roadster floating in space somewhere between Earth and Mars. Comes equipped with a space suit. Battery may need replacement for as Khan Noonien Singh once said to Captain Kirk "it is very cold in space."  Also a news report I saw on Wednesday mentioned that EV car batteries tend to not do very well in the cold as it reduces the battery's  effective charge, makes it take longer to recharge, and shortens overall battery life.

    Personally I'd stick to looking at cars that are here on terra firma. 

    Post edited by kyoto kid on
  • kyoto kidkyoto kid Posts: 40,932
    edited January 20

    JasmineSkunk said:

    McGyver said:

    Sfariah D said:  I am nervous and I don't know why.

    Coffee and that angry gorilla sitting on the sofa across from you... it's a bad combination...

    Take a deep breath and just talk it over with the gorilla, they can be pretty reasonable if you both know where you are coming from... also they like cookies, especially chocolate chip... sometimes it's not just hearts and minds you wanna win over but gorilla tummies too.

    Incidentally... JS...  I couldn't find the quoted post either, so I just copy/pasted yours into a different one by SD.

    I'm hella lazy.

    No angry gorilla or sofa here! LOL smiley 

    I'm a singleton these days in a tiny studio appartment that barely has room for my art supplies, drafting table, desk, bed and tiny kitchen breakfast table! (see below!) But, if I did have a gorilla, I would definitely make him chocolate chip cookies because I would not want an unhappy gorilla in my midst! Nor unhappy hearts and minds...smiley

    ...similar type of digs here. though yours has a much nicer kitchen than mine (mine is about as big as a Boeing 737 galley). I have about ⅓ the cabinet space of yours and almost no counterspace to work on (so no more baking cookies or making my own pasta as there is no place to roll out the dough).  You also have room for a small dining table, I just use one of my desks.  My library takes up a fair amount of the remaining wallspace and I also keep my bike inside so it isn't vandalised or stolen.

    Still as you mention, "it's al mine", nobody else underfoot, nobody eating my food, or my having to wait for the dunny because someone is taking a 30 min shower and the best part, no "drama".  I like it that way. Only wish I had a hardwood floor instead of carpeting as it's much easier to keep clean..

    Post edited by kyoto kid on
  • kyoto kidkyoto kid Posts: 40,932
    edited January 19

    ...ugh a third day of ice and freezing rain. Current conditions (pink designates freezing rain)

    My place is where hte blue "X" is.

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    Post edited by kyoto kid on
  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,442
    edited January 19

    Non-complaint:  Wow, I now feel like I live in a mansionindecision.  I've got four separate rooms, in 1/3 of a house (neighbor family has the other 2/3).  A 10'x15' livingroom/office/workshop, a kitchen about half that size, a bathroom half the size of the kitchen, an upstairs bedroom 12'x15' loaded with more BankersBoxes & miscellaneous not-quite-junk-yet stuff, and a low crouch-in attic closet.  And downstairs is a coat closet under the stairs. 

    Not enough room for everything.sad One has to be nimble while navigating my apartment.  I use drawer style BankersBox cardboard storage boxes for furniture in a couple of places.  I pile them up  3 wide, 4 high and lay a nice looking board across them to make a display for my collectibles or other stuff.  Counter space in the kitchen was pretty small (one 2'x2' area next to the sink), but I bought a roll-around kitchen cabinet with a top and a fold down leaf.   And I only had one kitchen drawer, but got another one in the roll-around cabinet.  Also, in the kitchen is a pile of boxes containing my computer parts stock, on which I set things as necessary.  But I do have lots of cabinet space above the sink for food, in addtion to a quarter of my kitchen being occupied as my pantry with a 6' high storage shelf & many cartons of food stuff stacked on the floor next to it.(gotta be nimble in my home). 

    Right now my biggest problem is my hoard of empty Amazon boxes.  They need to be recycled but I don't have a car, and the local garbage pickup doesn't separate, so they have to be driven to the collection area.  It's been so long now, that I need a truck!surprise  Yeah, yeah, I fold them flat, but still they occupy 3/4 of the landing of my stairway.frown  Gotta talk to the neighbor soon.indecision  Yeah, this place is OK, despite transportation from the boonies to civilization being a problem.  But it's "home" as long as my luck holds out and the owner doesn't sell.indecision

    Arghhhh..., new problem:  My new printer just arrived.  The box is huge!  Where, the frik do I put it until the old printer finally dies again?  Maybe it could be used as an overly big coffee table?  Nope, too big.  Perhaps shove it up the stairs?  Nope, the bedroom is cluttered enough, and I'd have to lift it over my recliner chair to get to the stairs.  Arghhh...sad  Kitchen?  Nope.  Bathroom?  Nope.  Closets?  Nope.  (*sigh*)  Perhaps I'll put a board on it and use it as workbench.wink

    Post edited by LeatherGryphon on
  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901

    kyoto kid said:

    ...similar type of digs here. though yours has a much nicer kitchen than mine (mine is about as big as a Boeing 737 galley). I have about ⅓ the cabinet space of yours and almost no counterpace to work on (so no more baking cookies or making my own pasta as there is no place to roll out the dough).  You also have room for a small dining table, I just use one of my desks.  My library takes up a fair amount of the remaining wallspace and I also keep my bike inside so it isn't vandalised or stolen.

    Still as you mention, "it's al mine", nobody else underfoot, nobody eating my food, or my having to wait for the dunny because someone is taking a 30 min shower and the best part, no "drama".  I like it that way. Only wish I had a hardwood floor instead of carpeting as it's much easier to keep clean..

     

    Hardwood floors are good, I agree! smiley

     

    LeatherGryphon said:

    Non-complaint:  Wow, I now feel like I live in a mansionindecision.  I've got four separate rooms, in 1/3 of a house (neighbor family has the other 2/3).  A 10'x15' livingroom/office/workshop, a kitchen about half that size, a bathroom half the size of the kitchen, an upstairs bedroom 12'x15' loaded with more BankersBoxes & miscellaneous not-quite-junk-yet stuff, and a low crouch-in attic closet.  And downstairs is a coat closet under the stairs. 

    Not enough room for everything.sad One has to be nimble while navigating my apartment.  I use drawer style BankersBox cardboard storage boxes for furniture in a couple of places.  I pile them up  3 wide, 4 high and lay a nice looking board across them to make a display for my collectibles or other stuff.  Counter space in the kitchen was pretty small (one 2'x2' area next to the sink), but I bought a roll-around kitchen cabinet with a top and a fold down leaf.   And I only had one kitchen drawer, but got another one in the roll-around cabinet.  Also, in the kitchen is a pile of boxes containing my computer parts stock, on which I set things as necessary.  But I do have lots of cabinet space above the sink for food, in addtion to a quarter of my kitchen being occupied as my pantry with a 6' high storage shelf & many cartons of food stuff stacked on the floor next to it.(gotta be nimble in my home). 

    Right now my biggest problem is my hoard of empty Amazon boxes.  They need to be recycled but I don't have a car, and the local garbage pickup doesn't separate, so they have to be driven to the collection area.  It's been so long now, that I need a truck!surprise  Yeah, yeah, I fold them flat, but still they occupy 3/4 of the landing of my stairway.frown  Gotta talk to the neighbor soon.indecision  Yeah, this place is OK, despite transportation from the boonies to civilization being a problem.  But it's "home" as long as my luck holds out and the owner doesn't sell.indecision

    Arghhhh..., new problem:  My new printer just arrived.  The box is huge!  Where, the frik do I put it until the old printer finally dies again?  Maybe it could be used as an overly big coffee table?  Nope, too big.  Perhaps shove it up the stairs?  Nope, the bedroom is cluttered enough, and I'd have to lift it over my recliner chair to get to the stairs.  Arghhh...sad  Kitchen?  Nope.  Bathroom?  Nope.  Closets?  Nope.  (*sigh*)  Perhaps I'll put a board on it and use it as workbench.wink

    4 ROOMS! You do live in a mansion. LOL smiley I can totally relate to the Amazon box problem....Why do they send so many boxes?

  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901
    edited January 19

    So I spent the night binging movies on Amazon Prime. Man... there is some weird stuff getting made nowadays. The first movie I tried was called "Paradox Lost". I didn't get through all that one. The next one I attepted was called "Everything Everywhere All at Once". Didn't watch all of it either... But the next two, I did manage to watch in their entirety... but man. Weird. 

    The first was called "The Landscape With Invisible Hand". By this time I was tired of lookng for something new to watch. It's about a future where aliens arrive and take over the corporate world, and end up ending pretty much everything: Jobs, education, housing... They go to extremes to make the aliens not look anything like humans, but oddly....they seem to have a very human obsession with what's "fashionable". One refreshing feature though was that it was about a black family... but not about a "black" family. Just an ordinary family. (meaning, they didn't try to make the story racially motivated) Kinda nice to see.

    *edit - I guess an argument could be made there was some implication about race regarding aliens, though. But mostly it was about monetary divide. I respected it for that.*

    The other one was called "Yesterday". This was about an aspiring musician, who after being hit by a bus, discovers the whole world seems to have a different recollection of history than he does. They don't know who the Beetles are, or what cigarettes are...or Coca-cola. So, he decides to play all the Beetles songs and takes credit for their "genius". It's a typical romance. Don't miss out on that girl you love kind of movie - but it made me think of the "Mandella Effect".

    Now... I like to think of myself as a very practical, there's always an explaination, kind of girl. But there are a few things that I contemplate from time to time reguarding that whole idea. Most of it I can attribute to faulty human collective memory prior to the internet. But there are a couple of things...

    First being Mandella himself.... yes, I'm someone who remembers news about Mandella dying in prison in the 80's.... but dang, that was the 80's. And I didn't pay THAT much attention to the news back then. I was a kid. I accepted I was probabally mistaken.

    But a couple of things... I can't reconcile. One of them being Ed McMahon. See I was a just a kid when he was on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. I didn't watch the Tonight Show! LOL  I ONLY knew who he was BECAUSE of Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. But, apparently.... he never worked for Publisher's Clearing House. (according to history). He apparently worked briefly for some American Publisher something or other that no one's ever heard of... but I DISTINCTLY remember it WAS Publisher's Clearing House and ED McMahon because the commercials were incessant!!! He'd show up at people's homes and give them a giant check for a million dollars and tell peple to check their mail for their entry. AND also - because when the manilla colored envelope showed up in the mail with his face and the PCH logo, I would eagerly wait for my mother to finish with her selections so I could collect the stamps inside to make my dolls magazines!! I remember seeing BOTH his face and the logo on the envelope. It WAS Publisher's Clearing House! I swear it was! 

    So... that one messes me up a little.

    Another one that blows my mind: (see attatched image) I swear on my life.... I remember this image with a MUCH older woman standing beside the man looking forward like he is. It kinda messes with me in a way I can not describe.

    So, yeah... that's where movie night took me. LOL smiley

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    Post edited by JasmineSkunk on
  • AgitatedRiotAgitatedRiot Posts: 4,404
    edited January 19

    I thought "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was an excellent movie. I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh. Ever since her winning Miss World 1983 at 20. I was getting out of the military. Then, there is the "Yes, Madam" Hong Kong Cinema. I think it was her first movie.

     

    Post edited by AgitatedRiot on
  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,037

    I live by myself in a 3 bedroom cottage on 700m2 of land

    it is in the cheapest suburb of DeAdelaide ice capital of the world (methamphetamine not frozen water) and murder capital of Australia 

    (one of the Bodies in the Barrels murderers lived in this street)

     

  • GordigGordig Posts: 9,885

    AgitatedRiot said:

    I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh.

    She's great. I'm not generally a big fan of wuxia, but her fights with Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger are phenomenal (especially considering that she had a torn knee ligament in one of them).

  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901

    Gordig said:

    AgitatedRiot said:

    I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh.

    She's great. I'm not generally a big fan of wuxia, but her fights with Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger are phenomenal (especially considering that she had a torn knee ligament in one of them).smiley

    Idk.... I just wasn't into it. LOL. Maybe I'll give it another shot tonight and get back to y'all. 

  • GordigGordig Posts: 9,885

    JasmineSkunk said:

    Gordig said:

    AgitatedRiot said:

    I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh.

    She's great. I'm not generally a big fan of wuxia, but her fights with Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger are phenomenal (especially considering that she had a torn knee ligament in one of them).smiley

    Idk.... I just wasn't into it. LOL. Maybe I'll give it another shot tonight and get back to y'all. 

    There are a lot of levels to Crouching Tiger. You can watch it for the surface plot, for the Remains of the Day-style subtextual romance between Yeoh and Chow's characters, the stunning cinematography, the expertly choreographed and executed martial arts, the brilliant visual storytelling within the fights....

  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901

    I live by myself in a 3 bedroom cottage on 700m2 of land

    it is in the cheapest suburb of DeAdelaide ice capital of the world (methamphetamine not frozen water) and murder capital of Australia 

    (one of the Bodies in the Barrels murderers lived in this street)

     

    Wow! Well, House on land sounds nice... murders and meth - not so much!
  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901
    edited January 20

    AgitatedRiot said:

    I thought "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was an excellent movie. I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh. Ever since her winning Miss World 1983 at 20. I was getting out of the military. Then, there is the "Yes, Madam" Hong Kong Cinema. I think it was her first movie.

     

    Okay.

    You were right.

    That was an awesome movie. smiley I had given up on it too soon the first time because I thought it looked too depressing.(sad relationships, divorce, homophobia, etc) but a few more minutes in and - -  I discovered it was SOOOOO much more than (actually, not even) that!. So glad I watched it .heart Thanks for getting me to reconsider. smiley

    Post edited by JasmineSkunk on
  • kyoto kidkyoto kid Posts: 40,932

    Gordig said:

    JasmineSkunk said:

    Gordig said:

    AgitatedRiot said:

    I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh.

    She's great. I'm not generally a big fan of wuxia, but her fights with Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger are phenomenal (especially considering that she had a torn knee ligament in one of them).smiley

    Idk.... I just wasn't into it. LOL. Maybe I'll give it another shot tonight and get back to y'all. 

    There are a lot of levels to Crouching Tiger. You can watch it for the surface plot, for the Remains of the Day-style subtextual romance between Yeoh and Chow's characters, the stunning cinematography, the expertly choreographed and executed martial arts, the brilliant visual storytelling within the fights....

    ...love that film.  Indeed the cinematography was superb and the the fight scene in the bamboo was ballet like.

  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,442
    edited January 20

    Complaint:  I made a pot of chicken & rice today.  Boiled the brown rice, poured in the gravy, added mushrooms, heated the pot some more and seasoned it to my liking, let it cool, put it in a container for refrigeration, opened the refrigerator door, and spotted my chicken chunks that I forgot to stir into the rice.blush  Not a show stopper, but getting old sucks.sad

    I've got a cardboard box with my "cookie kit" in it.  All the ingredients for my prize winning oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with just enough ingredients for one more batch.  I'm contemplating making the last batch of the season, but worry if I'll leave out the baking soda again, or gasp, the chocolate chips.frown  But unlike the chicken & rice, I have a paper recipe that I follow for my cookies.  How can I skip an item on a list, when they're all there sitting in the box?indecision

    Post edited by LeatherGryphon on
  • AgitatedRiotAgitatedRiot Posts: 4,404

    LeatherGryphon said:

     

    I've got a cardboard box with my "cookie kit" in it.  All the ingredients for my prize winning oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with just enough ingredients for one more batch.  I'm contemplating making the last batch of the season, but worry if I'll leave out the baking soda again, or gasp, the chocolate chips.frown 

    I was preparing to make some Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies but boiled all my eggs; I have to get some tomorrow. The butter is all soft and ready.

  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,442

    Trying the cookie mix with boiled eggs might be an interesting experiment.  Although, the texture might suffer.indecision

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,037

    you apparently can substitute blood for eggs

  • Bunyip02Bunyip02 Posts: 8,341

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    you apparently can substitute blood for eggs

    Vlad Dracula - "I'll have a litre of blood to go with my cookies !"

  • LeatherGryphonLeatherGryphon Posts: 11,442

    Non-complaint:  Man with four foot-long fingers, knocking on wood.

  • kyoto kidkyoto kid Posts: 40,932
    edited January 21

    ...I worked with the marimba during percussion studies, and that peice is challenging enough on the piano let alone with 4 mallets and a much larger "keyboard".. 

    Post edited by kyoto kid on
  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    you apparently can substitute blood for eggs

    LOL! I've heard that too! smiley But, in case you don't have a desire for blood letting, you can also use mayonaise. 

  • GordigGordig Posts: 9,885

    I've so studiously avoided buying skimpwear that on the rare occasion that I want a sexy outfit I have very little to choose from.

  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901

    LeatherGryphon said:

    Non-complaint:  Man with four foot-long fingers, knocking on wood.

    Cool! yessmiley

  • JasmineSkunkJasmineSkunk Posts: 1,901

    Gordig said:

    I've so studiously avoided buying skimpwear that on the rare occasion that I want a sexy outfit I have very little to choose from.

    LOL! So relatable! laugh

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,037

    JasmineSkunk said:

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    you apparently can substitute blood for eggs

    LOL! I've heard that too! smiley But, in case you don't have a desire for blood letting, you can also use mayonaise. 

    well I did assume meat juices not human blood cheeky

    after all we eat the meat juices in gravy 

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 38,037
    edited January 21

    devil

    Post edited by WendyLuvsCatz on
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