Oh, Misty, I forgot my Complaint Thread
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Oops just found it, so I will post a picture of my favorite tang.
Disclaimer: Its been long enough since my last 500,000 assembly of random wordery...
Please do not read the follow collection of random characters and text, it's obnoxious, boring, esoterically annoying, dumb and pointless and could lead to eyeball dysplasia which usually manifests at the most inconvenient time imaginable like where your eyeballs fall out into your plate of spaghetti... That's all... you were warned.
Gaagh…
I was in a better mood earlier, but that went away because I left my browser open to a news site and when I came here to write something whimsical to hopefully to make somebody’s day a little funner, I looked at it and since I can’t not read words (even foreign languages I can’t comprehend, I just make stuff up that I believe it should mean)…
I inadvertently read enough to piss me off.
What the hell is this species up too?… Seriously there must be something in the sunscreen or there are undetectable stupid rays being emitted from the internet… (Right now you are being exposed to intellect lethal doses)
Forget that before that comes back to haunt me.
It’ll haunt you too…
But whatever…
Gaagh...
Actually, it's more like a "Grragh"... like a grumbly disgusted "ugh" sound... it's hard to write out most of my grumbling, almost under my breath exclamations/sounds of dissent... well, except the one I usually defer to... if you know the character Roy Kent From "Ted Lasso", that's pretty much the way I sound most of the time... and we share that common expression of dissatisfaction.
If not, it rhymes with "duck" and share its first letter with "Floccinaucinihilipilification"... which in case you never heard of the word (and why would you have if you are relatively normal)... it means something that is rare and of no value (and was probably created to have really long word starting with "F")... I only bothered to add that definition because the odds of me spelling that correctly based on how I think that's spelled are pretty slim... actually now I'm going to go look that up and correct it if I misspelled it...
(elapsed time 38 seconds)
Yes... not even close... I spelled that as if I had two packets of cold Kellogg's Pop-Tarts (one still in the foil wrapper) stuffed in my mouth while cursing in Sicilian and simultaneously trying to cough up a hairball made of llama armpit fur.
Did you picture that?
Shame on you... you are starting think like me and that's bad for society.
I was going to explain what Pop-Tarts are, but I remembered it was a Kellogg's product and I figured that it must have infested Europe and that big upside down continent down under long ago, so there probably is no need for that...
I don't like when I make a reference to something and it's too much of a colloquialparlance (that's an adjectiverb meaning "a common word around here that you might not know because you live over there and I just made up to describe a word you might not know because you live somewhere else")...
Also adjectiverb, I just made up because I feel grammar is a synthetic construct of the Industrial Grammar Complex, designed to sell phonics work books to the captive audience of "Grammar School" children who have no choice but to submit to the will of this mighty cabal of word nazis... they literally tipped their hand by calling it friggin' "Grammar School"... why not call it "Maths School"?... they teach math too... and that's why everyone sucks at math, because they are so focused on making everyone use verbs, pronouns, amateurnouns, adjectiverbs and all those little dots and squiggles "correctly", kids are too burned out to understand quantum physics and that's why we can't have nice things like cheap fusion based power or hyperspacial, multidimensional gateways so we can buy juicy grilled Sheeshkabobalobs from the colorful Golnultian street vendors roaming the boulevards of Baltakolanoor on Lukz...
Yeah.
Sorry... I just was trying to explain that I hate saying stuff that someone might not understand the reference to... which is entirely different than not understanding anything I write, because if I said that, I'd be lying, which I never do... which itself is a lie, because the truth is I just write compulsively until something shiny or loud distracts me...
Which might happen soon since apparently one of my neighbors whose yard borders the side of the back of my property is having an in ground pool put in... or they are burying the evidence of their hippo smuggling ring gone bad... the noise is just far enough away that it's not that distracting, but every now and then they drop one of the dead hippos and there is a big "thump" and I do that Labrador retriever thing I do where my head pops up and I'm all like "wooof... what was that..."... only it's not "woof", its that word me an Roy Kent tend to use.
You should have payed attention earlier if you didn't get that.
Actually, you shouldn't pay attention to me at all... I'm bad for society...
I say stuff constantly that some people might find quaintly humorous and repeat to a friend or coworker, like when a hamster farts loud enough for you to hear, and you are like "aaaw, that was cute" and you tell someone else about it which normally would be real weird because as funny as farts are when you are drunk, in the course of normal conversations it's never that socially acceptable to just randomly bring up in conversation or as an opening monologue at the investors meeting... unless you are selling room deodorizer and have a good segue into the history of awful smells.
I seriously do mean that I feel I'm bad for society, because many of the things I say as jokes turn out to be real or I end up with me reading about someone who is advocating not buying peanut butter from Jiffy because it's actually part of the Illuminati plan to corner the world supply of creamed peanut products being carried out by ninja space penguins... that's not exactly verbatim my words, but I know I'll come across that soon enough because of things I've written about penguins and their theory will probably end with something about why you shouldn't get a colonoscopy because Mr. Whipple (the actual Mr. Whipple, not the Charmin commercial actor who died like thirty years ago) is personally planting robot gophers in your butt to control how much toilet paper you use.
Yeah.
We've reached that point and we are really shooting fast beyond that.
So please ignore all this and don't repeat any of it or you'll indirectly contribute to the downfall of civilization, if civilization every really was a thing to begin with...
I know you are probably thinking "well, why don't you stop saying stuff about the grammar industry or cats with thumbs that are actually our planets secret guardian or that thing about the colorfully plumaged Sheeshkabobalob vendors on Lukz?"...
Well, the answer is 1- It's probably true, 2- That's definitely true, 3- It was like forty years ago, I was probably tired or drunk and never actually signed a non-disclosure agreement and any of that "or you'll change the course of earth's history" crap clearly went out the window long before I started writing in any electronic format... unless of course people were actually reading the notes I wrote on subway rats years ago, which I seriously doubt.
Actually, it was mostly in lower Manhattan and it's really full of weird fetishes, so who knows...
But either way, don't listen to me...
You know... originally I was going to start whimsically writing about an issue I find even more annoying and conspiratorial, but I got distracted by a falling hippo and started writing whatever the hell all that text above was about...
Barn doors.
(Complete and totally jarring subject injection with no apparent segue)
But, yeah Barn Doors...
Not the kind with cows and chickens behind them... those insidious hideous hanging, sliding monstrosities that spreading throughout the world of architecture and home remodeling...
(Insert Roy Kent exclamation here)
In case you haven't come across them... and you will, because those charming smiling cloned cyborgs (shut up, don't argue with me about that term), those deceptively personable "Property Brothers" and various other wacky personas summoned from the depths of Cthulhu's R'lyeh by the producers of cable TV home improvement shows to subliminally pressure us to rebuild our prefectly good (but often odd smelling) homes into tasteless palaces of pseudo-70s retro funk, are a subtly trying to get us all to replace our normal doors with gigantic rustic looking sliding doors, the kind which you would normally see holding back farm animals.
Yeah.
I mentioned this as I was originally going to do, because on Saturday I was staying at a Holiday Inn in Pennsylvania and once again I found that the bathroom door was not the traditional lockable, privacy fostering egress cover of the variety that might prevent Norman Bates from stabbing the hell out of you while showering (which isn't actually a fear of mine since I usually shower dressed as his mom, holding a much bigger butcher knife which I know he'd never expect, thus giving me the upper hand)...
(Please just Google Norman Bates if you don't know who he is)...
(Okay, he's the stabby mommy impersonating guy from the Alfred Hitchcock movie "Psycho")
(Yeah, like anyone in their twenties who isn't up on pre-2000s pop culture is reading this)
(Kudos if you are, you delightful little weirdo... peeps like you are going to help save the world)
(Honestly... but don't tell the old people or they'll get offended... okay, maybe just tell the cool ones)
(Don't ask me how to tell who is cool... you should know this already... okay, go back and find some other crap I've written and you should figure it out)
(No, I'm not putting in any links... I'm lazy)
(Anyway....)
This is literally the fourth friggin' encounter with bathroom barn doors in two years...
Who thinks that's ok?
Rude sound enthusiasts?
These "barn doors" usually hang at least two inches off the wall, have no ability to be locked... generally they come in standard sizes, which so happen to be the exact size of the door opening the idiot contractors who install them choose to make the door openings, thus leading to huge open gaps around the bathroom doors, which eliminates all illusions of privacy... add to that that often they have frosted glass panels to add visual interest as well.
If you've eaten at Denny's (no explanation, as Denny's must be internationally famous for food crimes)... you'll either have to ask anyone else staying there to leave the room or maybe go stay in the lobby for a while, or turn up the TV so loud the police are summoned because usually that indicates a loud murder is occurring and someone is covering up the screaming.
It's not just hotel bathrooms... I've seen this in offices, businesses, urgent care facilities and numerous other places you'd expect a little privacy.
Loads of people are falling for this too... a couple of my friends have fallen for that as well... mostly the ones with lots of money... I don't blame them, they worked hard and earned the great careers they have and don't have the time to futzzle with design choices, so they hired someone to make suggestions... They could have mentioned this to me beforehand, so I could warn them of what I'm going to say in a moment, if I ever get to it, instead of asking me after the fact for ideas on how to fix what was an obvious glaring horrible mistake to begin with, but that's irrelevant... not really... but I don't want to sound bitter... I'm actually more salty than bitter, but that depends on what part of me is sweating... but anyway...
First of all, these doors weigh like two hundred pounds (which is like 90.7 kilopoundimers or whatever metric units they measure gravitational attraction by in the rest of the world)... and nextly they all ride on two old-timey steel hubs along a rustic looking steel bar like some crappy abandoned mine cart that when you slide them open sounds like Lara Croft (Tomb Raider, damn it!) sliding open the granite sarcophagus lid from the vault of the Dark Lord Quetzalquatzumonkulus...
Imagine trying to go for a stealth poop at three o'clock in the morning... then on top of that there is a gap around the door that you could stuff at least a dozen corgis into (or maybe six if you stuff them vertically, but then their cute fuzzy corgi butts aren't sticking out)
Which would make sense because corgis make great insulation... very cute insulation.
Anyway... are you seeing the pattern?
Two clones pushing unlockable barn doors with no doorknobs... who do we know who doesn't like doorknob? Clearly it's not velociraptors if Jurassic Park has taught us anything... who would benefit most from a huge gap around the door, which they could easily slip through... who has a grudge against mankind for slathering their kin in lemon garlic marinade or Takoyaki sauce for centuries?
I'm serious... who?
I'm pretty sure I was going somewhere with that, but someone started using that huge excavator machine again and I was like "how the hell many hippopotamuses are you burying?
Turns out... a lot.
Well, that's not my problem... if you play the hippo smuggling game, you have to be prepared to hide the evidence when things go sideways.
But whatever... just ignore this, it's better for society, if you just forget whatever you read here…
If you don’t, you run the risk of inadvertently spreading what you’ve read… You may perhaps eventually be attending a really boring party with mixed company (I honestly don’t know what that’s supposed to mean… either it means “a random collection of individuals whose philosophies, hobbies, interests and or lifestyles, through no fault or hang ups of your own you might not normally interact with in a social setting” or it’s a pile of sweaty people doing weird stuff… either way, it’s your business how you chose to roll, so more power to you baby), and because you are feeling anxious or out of place, you’ve decided to fortify yourself against your social anxieties with some alcoholic beverages and that moment of awkward silence comes and someone makes eye contact with you and your brain panics and reaches into that jumbled storage bin you keep interesting things your read in, but it’s the wrong bin because you suck at filing or organization in general and it’s full of the locations of half eaten baloney sandwiches you’ve misplaced over the years and other stuff you’ve mostly forgotten, and your brain pulls out something that you read that was written by me and hastily blurts it out without even looking at it first…
Then you’ll be compelled to go on relating whatever it was you remember of this or that, because even though everyone else is most likely a little bit liquored up too, you showered today and dressed reasonably nice and in that lighting, with that look of confusion they are mistaking for confidence upon your face, they think you are some kind of humble genius scholarly vagabond philosopher that they’ve been looking to meet their whole life to help set them on the path to enlightenment and bliss… so they say “Oh my god, I’ve never thought of it that way” and take everything your panicked brain just barfed out as gospel and due to alcohol jumbled neuroconnections, their brains actually store it in the bin marked “crazy sounding ideas that are probably true”….
That or they'll immediately wrestle you to the ground and contact the authorities to say that they’ve found the escaped lunatic whose been dressing up in a gorilla costume and scaring old nuns at the nunnery…
In which case the outcome is the same, because when the doctor examining you hears your explanation, they are so tired and overworked that they mistake you for some kind of humble genius scholarly vagabond philosopher that they’ve been looking to meet their whole life to help set them on the path to enlightenment and bliss, and release you after taking down your statement…
Either way, the damage is done because those idiots are going to repeat that at some point until eventually it ends up floating into the greedy, waxy ear canals of some shady two bit huckster looking for some new material to ply their marks with and within a month of that you’ll read about how the World Health Organization had to issue a statement that the Robot Gopher Tongs being sold on the internet are dangerous and that Robot Butt Gophers are not a thing.
Now do you see why I say you should ignore this?
Besides the obvious reasons, that is.
Of course if you are a cool old person or one of those zadt* twenty-somethings that are going to save the world you already know that and have taken what you need from this.
Either way, it is what it is and it’s up to each of us to ultimately make the right choice as best we can… as the old saying goes “if not you, where… if not now, who are you, and if not when, why did you put a friggin’ barn door on the bathroom… what the hell is wrong with you, you voyeuristic lunatic?”
Good day and thank you for your time.
*Zadt is not a real Gen Z word (yet) and I’m not misspelling, or misunderstanding Zaddy… as far as my understanding y’all don’t have a good slang word for savvy-slick-smart-cool, but like on an epic legendary heroic level…
You have too many relationship and stupid-human interaction slang words… (yes, judgie much)
You have to think bigger.
Look up at the night sky if you have the luxury of seeing the stars at night… you see those little blinky dots?…
That’s where it’s at… the stuff that flicking thumbs and backlit liquid crystals produces is fleeting and vain.
Not all of it, but enough of a lot of it to be diverting of purpose and strength.
It’s not a big deal, that’s always been that way one way or another throughout time.
But I noticed a lack of good epic words… there are a bunch of socially responsible or enlightened slang words which are great, but no Zadt.
Zadt is an ancient word that needs to be recycled… lots of newer slang words are repurposed and reconfigured older slang words too.
Zadt is a fierce word… almost not so much a word as a concept...
It’s brave and bright and willing to do the right thing for the right reason and put aside ego or credit, adulation or reward… because it understands to live for the moment only grants the present and to reach beyond the present ensures a future worth reaching for, it burns within one like a candle in the darkest night, a tiny flame no cold wind can snuff out or tempest of despair can extinguish, it’s an anchor of hope, a compass to find our way, it’s unbreakable and bold, kind and silly, it never needs to flex or prove itself, it is humble confidence and gentle prowess, it is friendship that can not be broken and the strength of heart that transcends all the terrors life will throw at you… and still that barely touches its meaning.
Those who used that word are long gone because they forgot that word, but it never went away…
If that word, if the idea of it resonates with you, you knew it all along… it’s a silent part of you… of who are and always will be.
While it might not be a word now, anymore… it needs to come back.
Kindle that flame, the passion, the bravery, the hope…
Be Zadt, because you already are.
And if somebody stupid doesn’t understand, blame it on spellcheck or say it’s a Turkish carbonated beverage that tastes like Pepsi but with saffron and nutmeg… that will confuse them long enough to change the subject.
Bu bye.
But where's part two?
Non-complaint: It's true. A fly on the wall has interesting tales.
...great zot. what a treatise.
In my defense the forum 502 bad gateway errored out around four sentences in, so I walked around writing it in Notes and it looks like a lot less words...
But like I said, don't read it!
Its bad for you.
Complaint: Drove 2 and half hours each way to to a doctors appointment in Greenville only to have him refer me to another doctor that now I will have to drive 2 and half hours again to see.
It's a racket, I tells ya!
Dana
..yeah like being handed off to another bureau or company representative from the original one you called an the being put back on hold again (which in the case of a public agency could mean a long wait...again)
Complaint: "Oh, bother." - Winnie The Pooh
Non-complaint: “Could be worse. Not sure how, but it could be.” - Eeyore
Speaking of Orson Wells (clapping image above)... I saw him as Louie XVIII in the movie Waterloo (mentioned earlier). He had two scenes, about 30 seconds each. Feeding his face and looking like Jabba the Hut, and dismissing Napoleon as "not dangerous". His third scene was an enormous casket being carried through the streets of Paris after his last spoken line "Maybe they'll let me go" as he was being escorted reluctantly out of the palace after Napoleon returned from exile on the island of Elba . It was a bad day for Louie.
And subsequently it was a bad season for Napoleon too. His return to power only lasted 100 days. The defeat at Waterloo, finished him. He died six years later banished to the Island of St. Helena 'till he died.
Note: The island of Elba is in the Mediterranean Sea, not far from France. Whereas, St. Helena is in the almost exact middle of the Atlantic Ocean between Africa and South America. A bit far for another escape attempt.
The new leather skirt out today looks amazing! It doesn't look like it has a lengthen slider but the default length isn't bad
I can never have enough of them and I feel like the metal parts, seams, and cuts are really what set them apart from each other. I can make any skirt I want into leather since I have like 5 leather texture shader packs but they are all the same texture around the entire skirt. They can still look good but miss certain things a leather skirt by default has
I know certain materials go against certain soft aesthetics like pastel goth but leather wristcuffs really make the soft elements of the aesthetic pop. It's like a bit of bright orange in a mostly blue drawing
I think my toaster doesn't like pop tarts, as they keep sliding down to the bott Of the toaster.
I'm not surprised. When I'm in a warm toasty spot it's hard for me to get off my bott too.
Old saying: If it's not one thing, it's two things.
My Grandfather's addition: Or three!
Dana
Rosanne Rosanna Danna:
I mispoke. My grandfather said, "If it's not one thing, it's two things." My mom would reply, "Or three!" How could I forget that?
Dana
...
I slept in today. I need to get the day going now.
I just got home from work.
No worries, I woke up and found the day going already. Didn't need your help at all.
Complaint; Its 28.3C (83F) inside even with the ventilator drawing in air from a window on the colder side of the house...
Its a little past that point now over here... around 29°C/ 85°F... not that bad since it's not too humid at the moment... it super-sucks around here when the humidity kicks in since the Great South Bay is just a huge evaporator, humidifying the south shore of the island once the breeze stops... if there is an ocean breeze, it's nice... if it stops, it's a disgusting stifling stale soupy mess.
Complaint: The forums are very 502ish today... earlier I had four bad gateways within fifteen minutes.
Due to the nature of Japanese, it wasn't immediately clear whether this song was called "melody flag" or "melody frog", and honestly they seemed about equally likely.
K.
...fumbled around this morning looking for the ignition key don't remember where I left it so went back to bed. Glad someone else got it started.
Hate having to push start days at my age.
That confused me... I distinctly remember you saying you didn't have a car anymore, so I was like "oh crap, KK is hallucinating just like me now..."
Its a slippery slope.
No really, it's mostly because of all the goose poop on the damp moss...
Seriously, these things are industrial poop machines.