Oh, Misty, I forgot my Complaint Thread
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Around here you have to blow the geese up yourself.
And here they are protected under the Migratory Birds Act... Canada Geese are the thugs of the bird world..
....people need to stop letting them drink soda.
...and their poop is about as big as a small dog's.
How do you stop a gaggle of gartantuan geese gathering gloomily at your grocery store grabbing a gross of Pepsi?
You don't...you just stay clear of the soda aisle for a while!
Dana
I may not be as active as I was before, but I hope I am okay?
And don't give them menthos...
Ah ha! That must be the reason for our fragmenting fowl. We also have many farmers around here who grow great fields of menthos bushes.
A Note From The Author: This reply was written yesterday, but because the forum servers suck goat butts so, so hard, I wasn’t able to post this until now, despite this being written and copied from Notes… The goat butt sucking forum servers would just constantly bad gateway error every time I tried to paste it.
Normally most people would take that as a sign from the universe that they should stop… but f%$k the universe, it’s always trying to kill me and I’ve never learned a single damned lesson about anything anyway.
Generally in this hemisphere, birds are supposed to stop exploding right around March 23 at about three thirty five-ish in the afternoon…
But that’s surely the work of global warming… because now geese just explode well into May and even Juneuary… or whatever that other month is called… Eventually you’ll have geese exploding all year long.
And not just geese… sparrows and toucans… even huge flocks of city birds like pigeons, flamingos and ostriches.
I imagine exploding flamingos are probably very pretty… like sakura petals in a pretty Edo period Japanese painting with two lovers meeting by a pond with magical koi watching them, waiting for them to make out…
Koi are such pervs…
But yeah, I guess the guts and flaming beaks might not be that pretty, but they probably wouldn’t fly too far and the pink feathers would carry on the wind, just like sakura petals…
I wonder if flamingos taste like shrimp?…
They are supposed to get that pink hue from their diet of shrimp cocktails… that or strawberry daiquiris.
I forget which... But when I originally had that thought I was in a Joe’s Crab Shack drinking some mixed drink which made me wonder about what fried flamingo tastes like… maybe it was a shrimp daiquiri… I don’t think I’d go to a Joe’s Crab Shack for plain strawberry daiquiris, and it seems like shrimp would have to play into that thought somehow.
I checked my grocery store and they don’t sell flamingo… or even owl or toucan…
I wonder if toucans taste like Fruit Loops?
They don’t look like they should, but the commercial for Fruit Loops really leans heavily into implying Fruit Loops get their fruity flavor from toucans.
They probably taste like dirty feathers just like dachshunds do… well, dirty fur… dachshunds don’t have feathers or they would be able to fly, and no matter how hard you throw a dachshund, they really only sail a couple dozen feet before tumbling to the ground.
But what I meant was how dachshunds, which people, like to call “wiener dogs” taste nothing like hotdogs or even bratwurst which I think they look more like…
Everyone draws them like hotdogs, but to me they look more like a well charred bratwurst.
They taste terrible too, like furry toucans… well, how I imagine a toucan would taste if it were furry.
And their stupid owners get so pissy if you take a bite out of one… it’s not like I was going to eat the whole dog… I was just tasting it.
Jeez.
Speaking of furry hotdogs, that reminds me…
I dropped a hotdog yesterday and it rolled under my desk and I should probably get it before it gets all spoiled.
I hate going under there because there are so many damned spiders down there and they’ve pretty much colonized the cables and wires to the point that it’s a full fledged spideropolis.
Not like a utopian spideropolis, just a regular one.
I probably shouldn’t have made them furniture and buildings and that public transportation system… but I figured if they had something to occupy them they wouldn’t go crawling in my ears when I was looking for lost hotdogs.
The problem with lost hotdogs is they are usually fuzzy by the time you find them… either from shed capybara hair or from spiderwebs, or both.
Then you have to scrape all that off.
They never really taste the same afterwards either.
It’s very disappointing…
I have a feeling I’ll be disappointed by flamingo just like I was with dachshund and ostrich.
See… I didn’t forget what I was writing about this time…
I suppose I could simulate the taste of flamingo by blending chicken and shrimp in my Fruit Ninja blender and then kneading it into a paste and frying it…But that’s too much work.
I’ll just run over a flamingo the next time one crosses the street…
They seem pretty slow.
A bunch of people around here have them as pets… they just sit in the same spot in their yards… they never seem to move, maybe every now and then they sway back and forth in the wind on those thin rusty wire legs of theirs… lazy as hell.
And hard too… I imagine you probably have to boil them first to soften them, like potatoes… I snuck into my neighbor’s yard one day and tried to take a bite out of one of his flamingos to see what it tasted like, but it was like gnawing on acrylonitrile butadiene styrene…
That’s the long name for ABS plastic… most people don’t know that because they think all plastic is “plastic”… which is a very crappy way of thinking, but what can you do.
You can shout at people and throw spoiled herring and carp at them, but does that really solve anything?
I don’t actually know…
I never stick around because I know someone is going to expect me to clean up and I hate picking up rotten fish.
But do you think so?
I just realized I mentioned eating ostrich back there… that was disappointing too…
It was in a restaurant, one of those Brazilian BBQ places where they serve every kind of animal imaginable in big chunks stuck on swords, just like my step-grandfather used to.
He was Brazilian… actually Italian but his family was living in Brazil for a couple of generations.
He loved cutting huge chunks of meat with a ginormous cleaver.
I don’t know if that had anything to do with Brazil or if he was just fond of large sharp kitchen implements.
He also had a capuchin monkey and the angriest damned macaw that ever lived… I’ve often wondered what that macaw would have tasted like, but there wouldn’t have ever been any nibbling on that bird as he would gladly rip your face off if you got too close.
But anyway, the ostrich was stewed and it was pretty terrible… not as bad as the kangaroo, but still not something you’d go back for fourths or fifths for…
I usually need to try something a couple of times more when it’s really terrible… just to see what makes it so terrible… it’s important to dwell on the terribleness and deconstruct all the various notes of horrible flavor so you never forget.
Well, that was one thousand and fifty six words… actually, one thousand and eighty two, if you count these extra words up to this one here.
I promised myself I wouldn’t write more than one thousand seventy two, maybe one thousand eighty, tops.
Definitely no more than a solid thousand on flamingos and biting assorted animals.
But here I am, way past that and I haven’t even gotten to the part about flamingo pudding.
Well, I should go now because I feel I’m causing undue optical and mental stress on anyone foolish enough to try and read this.
I’m really hoping nobody reads this.
People complain about William Faulkner’s writing giving them headaches… I’m pretty sure this is going to give someone vertigo, lockjaw and/or diarrhea.
Also, I just discovered a box of cheese danishes on the counter and nothing else matters at the moment.
Bye.
Incidentally I’m including a compilation photo of dead fish I’ve found on the beaches, most were killed by seagulls and one is actually a very large doll leg… I don’t know why I included it because halfway through me writing this I smelled cheese danish and I went into cheese danish mode and got all distracted and forgot why I included the picture…
Enjoy it… It’s actually quite artistic and I’m sure if I turned it into an NFT, some imbecile would pay a million dollars for it.
But as it is my cheese danish fogged brain refuses to reveal why it’s here.
Feel free to try and figure that mystery out though, your guess is as good as mine.
Did you figure out which one is the creepy doll leg?
...lower left corner.
Back when I was still living in Milwaukee it wasn't unusual in summer to see lots of rotting dead fish on the beaches The fish was known as an alewife, which is usually a saltwater fish but for some reason (like Salmon in a way) they would get this sudden notion to leave the ocean swim up the St Lawrence into the Great Lakes where they would die off and wash up on the beaches creating a stench that attracted large swarms of biting flies.
That, sitting outside in the yard or on the porch around sunset letting the mosquitoes drain a couple pints of blood. the "psychotic" weather in spring to early summer (where it was a guessing game of whether to wear shorts and a T-shirt, a jacket or sweater, or sometimes even a winter coat as the conditions could change in minutes), and the long harsh winters, were good reasons for me to finally say adieu to Wisconsin and head to milder though wetter climes in the northwest.
About the only real enjoyable time of year back there was about three weeks from mid September to early October when it was still somewhat warm and the leaves were changing colours. No mosquitoes, no sudden fluctuations in temperature/conditions, no stinky dead fish littering the beach, no swarms of flies, and no snow or ice.
Nope... Close though... it's actually the top right one... I told you it was a creepy doll...
The one on the bottom left is actually a North Atlantic Dollleg Fish (Dolllegus Plasticus) which are quite common throughout the Atlantic all the way up to central Nebraska.
In September they come ashore to mate and hop around on their shoe-like fins.. but mostly be eaten by giant walking tree clams, which is why they are an endangered species.
I think I've just saved our "ex-stray" from a beating. His opponent would've been a bulky, ginger Tom.
URGH!... Now I've got problems rendering. This is getting pointless... Hopeless, even. Daz stops responding when a render has finished, and even when the render has finished, the computer sounds as if it's still rendering.
... and this damn cough is getting on my nerves!
Um..., and you recovered all that from memory? Are your volts a little low? It would have been interesting to have seen the original.
No that was not from memory... I can't even remember my cell phone number...
Technically that's because I never call myself and when I do I never pick up... also it's "contact" based, so you are just tapping on someone's name, so you don't really need to remember phone numbers anymore.
Unlike my wife who has a Rainman-like ability to instantly remember numeric sequences... it's frickin' frightening how she remembers numbers.
Actually the original reply was only a couple of sentences long before the forum 504ed and so I moved to Notes where I more or less rewrote that and added a "few" more sentences... that I later Copy/Pasted... that failed, so I kept pasting it to the comment box and the server kept saying "No, today is a bad gateway day" and then later I'd try again... repeat, repeat, repeat and gave up, then the next day I tried again two or three times and it eventually worked...
I'm very stubborn.
Also I was bored because I was waiting around outside doing nothing and all I had was my iPad and it needs a WiFi connection and using my iPhone as a "hotspot" is comically ineffective and useless because all it ever says is "can't connect to iPhone, try turning on WiFi" or something stupid like that.
I probably could have made more constructive use of that time by sculpting something in Nomad Sculpt... or finishing something I was already working on... but my brain was mushy from lack of sleep.
I want to ask my Mum if I can move the SSD from my "new" Dell laptop, to my old one... The only problem is, I like my head where it is.
The Dell laptop is practically useless. The chassis gets REALLY hot, and thats with only Paint running.
It's amazing how random restarts can kill your creativity. Forget random restarts. The skin textures for my two main characters are messed up. They're a mixture of orange and pink...
And all in the name of progress... YAY! *sarcasm*
...back in the old days the way I was able to remember my old phone number was because it was printed on a little slip of paper under a clear plastic cover on the middle of the dial. We also didn't have to include the area code for local calls back then.
Non-Complaint; 16 hours of daylight today
We only had to dial 5 numbers for local calls. I remember the number in the middle of the dial - it was typed on a typewriter. I remember when the numbers were written like ED8-5549, the ED stood for Edison the number translated to 338-5549. Every area had their own 2-letter prefix. Why they decided to do it like that, I don't know. BTW, that was the phone # I grew up with.
Gee, I'm old.
Ha, I can beat that! I'm so old... (chorus: How old are you?) I'm so old that the phone in our house had just a four digit number under the central plastic, typed, and only numbers, no letters until I was 12 in 1960 when DDD (Direct Distance Dialing) was introduced and we got our area code & 7-digit number. Our village only had a population of about 500 for it and the farms around us, so a 4-digit number was more than enough for the little 10x10 foot brick AT&T switching building in town. Although, I can't remember how we called the nearest city, perhaps an extra digit or two on the front? Although, I do remember that you had to dial "0" to get the Operator if you wanted to talk to any place more than about 30 miles away.
But as a kid, I never made phone calls to outside of town, just dial 4-digits and talk to your friends. Wheee...
And you knew the numbers in your head, and the phonebook YellowPages were your friend if you needed services or products. "YellowPages": The Google of the 20th century"
Now, if someone can delight us with stories of the wooden phone on the kitchen wall with a crank instead of a dial, I'll relinquish my phone story crown.
The crank Mounted wall phone, I have seen, but never used, My wife's cousin's farm had one.. The crank basically was they equivalent of dialing "0" for the operator, who you told the number you wanted to call, and they then patched you through on their plug board. The crank drove a magneto which generated the ring tone current (AC) at 50–100 V). Theoretically, you could use it to generate a party line ringset. The reason you needed to generate the current is that most rural lines did not have the ring current supplied by the telephone exchange on them,. Later on, the lines were supplied with a constant 90V so the need to generate a local ring current went away, as did the old crank phones.
BUT our first phone was on a party line ..every phone had a different ring set.. (longs and shorts) Basically all the phones were on a common circuit, and one could listen in on any call...(you had to be careful to be vewwy vewwy quiet..)
Do I detect a little bit of an Elmer Fudd accent there? Be vewy vewy qwiet to not supwize the waskily wabbit.
Not a complaint more of a confusion ,got my news email of the day and DAZ is now Daz Productions Inc . when did that happen?
Indeed!
...same here, our number originally was preceded by the letters "HU" which stood for Humboldt.
Here's and old "tutorial" about using a dial phone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjEEmodVr8A
Anyone else remember party lines?
I also remember putting "Zone-7" on a return address when I mailed a letter..
we had one very nosy old lady on our party line.. trouble was she was a touch asthmatic and a rather noisy breather.. so we allways knew when she picked up..
I remember the phones we had in the early '50s, but my grandmother had a phone from about the '30s. Same type of table phone but heavy, big, massive bakelite type plastic base and handset. You could drive nails with it and certainly deck an intruder with one.
and can one ever forget the Princess Phone ? (and the dial lit up, too!
...then there was the "Slimline™" phone which originally had a dial. We had one of these as an extension, same colour.
Anyone got a sledgehammer... I've got a computer that needs "fixing".
And dForce isn't working either...
I was hoping that add-on was going to solve a few problems in Blender... Oh well. That's something else to add to the list...
Don't laugh or judge, but when my other half and I were together we had a nice big King sized bed with four posts a canopy and purple velvet drapes that we could pull shut to keep out drafts. Kinda like Ebenezer Scrooge had.
But we also had two Slimline phones in brown with the buttons instead of the dial, on either side of the bed wired and mounted onto the headboard/shelf/catchall thing. I remember those Slimlines weren't cheap.
It was during the mid-'80s and was about the apex of development of what could be considered a "personal landline phone". Good phones, and almost, but no longer, useful for driving nails.